Milkshake Boy | pjm

twenty-seven

"What happened to her?" I ask as I peer through the window that looks into my mom's room from the hall.

"Your mother tried to kill herself, Taishi," Seokjin says calmly, his eyes focused on her as he looks into the window. "You can go in, if you'd like."

Jimin moves to the side and allows me to walk past him so I can go into the room first. He pulls the door closed and stays in the hallway with Seokjin, allowing me to see my mother first before anyone else.

I walk to her and slowly sit down on the chair beside her bed so my back is facing the window and the boys can't see me cry if I do. I gently take her hand into my arm, ignoring the bandages wrapped around her wrists.

Her head slowly moves in my direction as I touch her hand, and she smiles weakly when she sees me.

"Hi, baby," she says weakly, her lips dry and cracked.

"Mom," I choke. "Why did you do this?"

She licks her lips before looking away from me, her eyes focusing on the pale white ceiling above us. "It's all my fault."

I furrow my brows. "What is?"

She blinks angrily before shaking her head. "I saw the signs, and I still decided to marry him," she whispers, a tear slowly rolling down her temple and onto the pillow beneath her.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" I whisper, my eyes shaking as they try to understand what's happening.

"Junsu was very into punishment when you did something bad," she says after taking a deep breath. "He always insisted on spanking you when you misbehaved, but I never let him," she takes a breath again and wipes the tears from her eyes. "When he would get angry, he would go directly for you, but I always stopped him."

There is a silence in the room. An unbearable, strong, deafening silence. Neither of us speak, neither of us look at each other. I continue to hold her hand, my thumbs running over her skin reassuringly.

"One day," my mom says quietly. "One day I came home and you had bruises, but Junsu insisted that you got them from playing with the boy next door. Like an idiot, I believed him."

"Mom," I whisper. She tilts her head in my direction, and blinks roughly, tears falling down her temples. "Is this why you hurt yourself?"

She nods. "I thought that if I was gone, too, your life would be a little better," she touches the bandages on her wrists. "I thought that if I was gone, and Junsu was in jail, no one would be able to hurt you."

Tears begin to stream down my cheeks. "Mom," I say sweetly. "None of this is your fault. None of it."

"But-"

"No, mom," I cut her off. "You can't blame yourself for this. I won't let you."

The door to the room opens, and I spin around to see Jimin and Seokjin enter the room. Seokjin walks to the end of the bed and looks at my mom.

"Mrs. Choi," Seokjin speaks calmly. "I and other nurses believe it's best for you to go to a special hospital for your case."

"You mean a mental hospital?" I ask with shocked eyes. "You can't possibly believe-"

"Taishi, I want to go," my mom speaks up, squeezing my hand reassuringly. "I need to get better."

I turn away from Seokjin and toward my mother. "You're sure about this?"

She nods. "It's what's best for me, for you, and for Yumi."

I smile slightly before kissing her on the cheek.

"We can have the nurses from the hospital here in a few hours," Seokjin says as he begins to head towards the door. "You should stay together for that time."