Milkshake Boy | pjm

forty-seven

"Taishi, you can't be serious," Jimin says, his face blank as he stares down at me, his eyes filled with confusion and slight hurt as he speaks.

"I'm sorry, Jimin, but I can't feel safe anywhere unless I know I have protection," I say, trying to get him to understand that I need Jungkook to stay with me in order for me to feel like nothing bad is going to happen to me.

"I'm here to protect you!" He raises his voice, a slight crack breaking through his words. I see tears forming in his eyes, his face turning slightly red. He waves his fists as he speaks, his body bouncing a little. "I'm supposed to protect you!"

"Jimin," I whisper, reaching out to touch his arms gently. "You do protect me, and I love you every day for it."

There is an awkward silence among the three of us, none of us making it past the front door after telling Jimin how things were going to be. I lick my lips, trying not to allow tears to form in my eyes.

"There are things you can't protect me from," I say truthfully, my voice soft and caring. "There are things I don't want you to see, times when I'm not myself and I'm scared for you to see me that way."

"You know I would never judge you," his voice is lower now. It's as if he's trying not to let Jungkook hear our conversation. It's too late, though, Jungkook has heard everything.

"I know you wouldn't, babe," I take a shaky breath. "I want you to be here for me, I really do."

"Then why is he here?" Jimin raises his voice slightly.

"Jimin, I can't know that something bad isn't going to happen to me unless someone is here specifically to protect me!" This is when I snap, I can't be calm anymore, I can't stand here and sugar coat everything for him anymore. "I can't do anything at this point without Jungkook here. I feel safe with him around."

Jimin looks hurt, his eyes have turned cold, his body stiff. His body slouches a little, he's taken aback by my words. "I don't make you feel safe?"

"Jimin, you know that's not what I meant. I-"

"No, you take your bodyguard and go do whatever," Jimin says harshly, his eyebrows furrowing with anger and hurt. He turns away from us. "I'll sleep on the couch tonight."

"Jimin," Jungkook says, stepping into the conversation to vouch for words I can't form anymore.

"Don't fucking talk to me. Either of you!" Jimin snaps, his sudden outburst causing me to jump, tears falling down my cheeks slowly.

"Fine," I say, my voice cracking. I notice Jimin's shoulders slouch in instant regret as my broken voice fills the tense air of the room. There are no other words I can say to him, none that fit the situation. Instead of speaking, I just turn away and walk up the stairs, Jungkook following behind me slowly as I make my way to my room.

I don't say anything when we get to my room, I just grab some clothes from my closet and run into the bathroom, desperate to shower off the fingerprints of a man I thought I could trust.

-----

I step out of the bathroom and walk over to the couch in my room where Jungkook is sitting, his body seeming stiff as if he's uncomfortable. As usual, I sit on the middle cushion, probably closer to Jungkook than he would like.

Jungkook puts his phone down when I sit on the couch, his head turning to me. "What now?" He asks, his doe eyes looking at me with a soft gaze.

"I'm gonna put on a drama and probably fall asleep," I say as I lean over and pick up the remote from the coffee table. The TV lights up the dark room when I press the power button, giving off more light than the fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. "Any recommendations?"

"You can put on whatever you want," Jungkook speaks, his body slouching into the couch. He stretches his arms over his head and lets out a strangely loud yawn before laughing at himself.

"That was quite the yawn," I giggle, my feet bringing themselves to rest atop the table before I lean back and let my body sink into the soft cushions of the couch.

Jungkook rests his feet atop the table as well, his long legs reaching further than mine on the wooden surface. I frown slightly at our height difference, for I am the shortest one in the house.

The both of us fall silent as the show begins to play, our bodies pressed into the soft cushions as we sit comfortably. The silence makes me happy, allowing me to concentrate on the entertainment of the show rather than the horrors of what happened prior today.

It's too late, though, just thinking about not thinking about what happened today causes the memories to rush back to my head like an ocean wave. The most vivid memories are the ones of Chul running his hands over my body and pouring buckets of water over my head when I didn't listen to him.

My body shakes and I feel tears begin to slowly make their way down my cheeks, the small streams pooling around my lips and chin before continuing down my face, dripping onto the front of my hoodie.

I suck in a shaky breath and quickly wipe my tears away with the back of my sleeve before Jungkook notices that I'm crying. He shuffles beside me, and it's almost like I can feel him looking at me. I can already imagine his dark doe eyes filled with concern as he looks at me, his eyebrows resting, scrunching only slightly as he inspects my features for signs of distress.

"Taishi?" Jungkook speaks softly, his voice laced with nothing but concern. "Are you okay?"