The Drowned.

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May 12th, Sunday

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May 12th, Sunday.
The Drowned.
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'...I tried to kill myself... I knew I couldn't actually do it, but I wanted too...'

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"Caleb caught a fish and is trying to take the scales and bones out of it, Savannah's still in bed cuddled with Ted and River is kicking a ball around with Kimmy and Parker. They're big NFL nerds apparently." Marie said as she sat down beside me on the rock.

I was sat looking out onto the stream/river that was ran off and down a little cliff area. There below, was a larger part where it was deep enough to just stand up in and swim around in. I was thinking about going for a swim in it as today seemed to be the hottest day of the damn year. Us girls were all in shorts and tank-tops, the boys shirtless only wearing shorts. Thank god we had an endless supply of sunscreen because I already achieved the tan of my dreams months ago. If we all don't end up with sun cancer, I'll be surprised.

"Thanks for letting me know." I nodded, diving back into my book I'd started reading yesterday.

"They're busy and I'm bored. This damn apocalypse is really testing my patience." I rolled my eyes and bookmarked my book.

I watched as Marie pulled a cigarette from her pocket, I instantly grabbed it and threw it in the lake.

"Why won't you just let me smoke?" She groaned.

"Because it's not good for you." I argued.

"Nothing around here is good for me." Great she's grumpy now.

It's true though, there wasn't much to do around here anymore, and killing Z's was boring now. You aim, pull the trigger and kill. Or you run, stab them in the chest, and they fall to the floor. They're dead and you feel no remorse anymore. Well at least I don't anymore. Don't know about everyone else.

I have dreams, every damn night. Vivid dreams of the first Z's I had to kill. And the one and only human that I had to kill about two months ago. We saved a lady, an older lady, from a hoard in one of the buildings, it was too late she'd already been bitten and was turning quickly. She asked me to put her out of her misery, so I did. After doing this for so long I thought, what's another life to add to my list?

It was more important than I realized it was.

I shot a women. A human. I'll never forget how her eyes closed as she said a little prayer to herself before giving me a nod. I shot her right in the heart.

I didn't even know her name. She refused to tell me. It was clear though that she knew that I'd been through a lot.

We all had one goal right now and that was to survive. It's been one long hard testing game, I just hope I have the strength to get out of here now.

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