Conflicting Feelings (Laurisa)

11

Dani's P.O.V

"What are you calling her 'amnesia Lauren?' She's still the same person." I said to Christina and Lisa and I walked over to sit down on one of the waiting room chairs. It annoys me how people are making jokes about this. There's a chance Lauren won't get her memory back. And I know the doctor said it's temporary, but what if it's not. I sat down, and pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head against them until I felt someone sit down next to me. Christina. She didn't say anything, she just sat there and stared at me.

I sighed. "What do you want?" I asked her coldly.

"Lisa told me you got upset earlier, do you wanna tell me what happened?"

I laughed sarcastically and rolled my eyes. "No I don't Christina," I said turning to look her in her eyes. "I don't wanna talk to you about anything, I would like to be alone though so if you could just," I made a shooing gesture with my hand, "go away, that'd be great," I said resting my head back against my knees.

I heard her sigh. "Dani, I know this has been really hard for you, but you are not gonna take your anger out on me. You're also not gonna start pushing everyone away. We're family Dan, and we're stronger together... I love you so much and I hate seeing you go through this. And I just wanna be there for you." I heard her voice start to get shaky so I looked up and saw tears in her eyes. "So, if you need anything, please talk to me."

I looked at her, my eyes starting to form tears as well, and I pulled her into a hug. "Thank you," I whispered to her.

Just then, Lisa came walking back into the waiting room. And Katherine stood up to greet her. Kath then started walking over towards me and Christina.

"Hey, so it's almost 6 pm and Lise and I were thinking we could leave now and get here early tomorrow so we could take Laur home." She said speaking directly to us. Lisa came up and stood beside her. "So if either of you wanna talk to her really quick, do it now."

"I do," I said quickly standing up. "You guys can go home though. Lisa and I will stay and meet you back at the house later." I said walking back down the hallway to Lauren's room not waiting for a response.

Reaching the door, I took a few deep breaths, knowing this was gonna be painful to do, but I had to anyway. I had to talk to her again. I knocked and heard her voice ring through the door. "Come in." She said, so I slowly opened the door and saw Lauren sitting on the bed eating what I assumed was her dinner.

"Oh sorry I didn't... I didn't know you were doing... I'll just go." I said stumbling over my own words because of how nervous I was. Why was I so nervous? She's just my sister, there's no need to be nervous.

"Hey Dan, no wait," She said calling me back into her room. "Please don't go. I wanna talk to someone. Lisa just left and I'm lonely. Please stay. Come on sit down." She said patting the edge of her bed. I walked back into the room shutting the door behind me but went over and sat in a chair next to her bed.

She gave me a confused look. "What? Is there something wrong? Why don't you wanna sit next to me?" She asked confused. "Do you have a problem with me or something?"

"No, no it's not that, it's just... I don't wanna infringe on your personal space." She gave me another confused look.

"I'm sure that's not it... Dan can you tell me what's wrong?" She asked genuinely.

"What do you mean? Nothing wrong, I'm fine Lauren."

"No you're not Dan, it's very obvious. Come on, I wanna know. I'll listen." She said turning slightly to face me. I sighed thinking about if I should tell her or not. I mean, I guess there's no harm in telling her.

"Okay fine Lauren, I'll tell you." I took another deep breath preparing my self to tell her everything I was feeling. "It's just... I miss you. I thought that was pretty obvious. My best friend lost her memory and now I have to sit here and talk to her and act like I don't know you when in reality, I know you better than anyone else in the world. And you know me better than anyone else, but you just can't fucking remember." I sighed again trying to stop myself from crying. "And I know it's not your fault because obviously what happened was an accident and I know this is probably a million times harder for you than it is for me and I probably sound selfish and it probably sounds like I'm making this all about myself when I'm not trying to its just really difficu-"

"Dan, take a deep breath jeez. Calm down it's okay." Lauren said interjecting and stopping my rambling.

"Sorry," I said in response "but do you know what I'm trying to say?"

She nodded her head. "Yeah. I totally get it. And you're not being selfish. It's harder for you because you're missing someone you know. For me, I don't remember what I'm missing... I just feel kinda empty. Like everything's missing. And I try to remember, but it just doesn't work. And trying to remember just makes me more upset because I can't fix it no matter how hard I try... You should've seen what happened the day I woke up."

"What do you mean? What happened?" I asked curiously.

"So after you guys came in to see me, the five guys came in" She didn't say who they were so I guess she still doesn't know. "So, they came in and the smallest one... uh, Joe? Joey? I think his name was, came running in with the biggest smile on his face and screamed 'Lauren you're awake! I'm so glad you're okay!' And he came running up to me and tried to hug me." I noticed her eyes started to get watery. "And I pulled away from him and said 'why are you touching me? Who are you?' And holy shit Dan, you should've seen the look on his face. He ran over to one of the older guys and hugged him and I could hear him sobbing." She started crying now. "It's just... I didn't remember who he was. And the older guy tried to explain that to him but he just kept crying and saying that I hate him... After everyone left and I was trying to sleep, but I just couldn't stop crying... It really sucks Dan."

I had no idea that happened. She must feel so bad about that. "I'm sorry Laur, I didn't know that happened."

"Yeah obviously, not to mention I made you cry yesterday too." She smiled sheepishly at me, wiping the tears from her face. "Sorry about that."

"No it's fine, you don't have to apologize."

"Did you see that kid today? Is he alright?"

"No, I haven't seen him. I got here with Lisa later in the day."

"Why'd you get here late?"

"Uh Lise and I had to go pick up some of your things and move them to my si-" I quickly stopped myself from saying the word 'sisters' and corrected myself, not wanting to give that away just yet. "Uh to my friend's house. Where you'll be staying for a while, to recover."

She gave me a confused look, "What friend? Do I know them?"

"Uh yeah, Christina, Katherine, Amy, and Lisa all live together, and that's where you'll be staying."

"Yeah what about you? Why don't you live with them?"

"Um..." I said taking my time to come up with a believable lie. "Eventually I might, It's just not the right time."

"So where do you live then?"

"I live with my parents. But I will be staying with you in their house while you recover. So I'll be there with you."

"Oh okay, that's good."