Conflicting Feelings (Laurisa)

25

Christina's P.O.V

"Do you really think going to see this guy is the best idea, Lauren? I mean you don't even remember him... why do you want to see him?"

"I honestly don't know Christina." She said in an annoyed tone as she sighed obnoxiously loud. "I really just wanted to get out of that house... those people are literally insane."

"I can't argue with that." I replied laughing.

"Well, what are we going to do? If you expect me to sleep in the same house as Lisa, you got another thing coming."

"I don't know what we're gonna do," I told her truthfully. This whole thing is so messed up and I don't know how it's ever gonna be fixed. Lisa just had to be gay, didn't she? "Lauren?"

"What?"

"So Lisa said that you were the one that kissed her first... whether that's true or not, I just have to know, do you like girls? Like in a gay way? I mean, are you gay?" I asked Lauren wanting to know.

"No, of course, I'm not gay. And everything that Lisa says is a lie... I can't believe she'd say that and try to throw the blame on me."

"That's good." I said in a softer tone.

Lauren's P.O.V

"Are you gay?"

My stomach dropped as I heard Christina ask me this question. "No, of course, I'm not gay." I tried to reply in the most convincing voice possible. I am gay, but before I went downstairs, I heard everyone talking about how Lisa's gay and how Christina has a problem with it. I've realized it's definitely not a good idea to get on Christina's bad side, and because she's the only one in the house that's on my side with the whole 'Lisa situation' I couldn't afford for her to not accept me and reject me for who I am.

"I am curious though Christina, do you have an issue with Lisa being gay?" I asked her trying to keep my intentions subtle.

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"Honestly I don't know... my whole life, I was always told how wrong it is to be gay and everything cause that's what our parents taught us, and I just went along with what they said and never really made my own opinion about the topic... and recently I've been trying to change my opinion cause if you think about it logically, there's nothing wrong with being gay, you know? It's just kinda hard to abandon something I've thought my whole life." 

We reached a house that I could only assume was Adams. I really don't know why I wanted to come here cause I know nothing about the guy. I guess I just want to give him an explanation because when he was texting me, he sounded really nervous and concerned why I wasn't answering, so he seems nice. My leg started bouncing up and down, showing that I was nervous.

"You don't have to go in if you don't want to, we can leave right now." I smiled at Christina.

"If only," I told her. "I just feel like I owe him an explanation."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Yeah... that'd be great." We both jumped out of the car and walked up his driveway to reach his front door. I took and deep breath and raised my hand, gently knocking on the door.

A few seconds later, the door swung open and in the doorway, stood a guy who I am assuming, is Adam. Yep, I'm definitely gay. Not that's he's 'unattractive' he's just not my type. He's tall and slim with short brown hair, brown eyes, and glasses. He looked... nice.

"Lauren oh my god." He said as he quickly came towards me and pulled me into a tight hug. My instinct was to flinch and move away from him, but I didn't want to act all suspicious, so I just let it happen.

Almost directly after he hugged me, I heard Christina's voice. "Hey, buddy calm down and get off. She has something to tell you." I felt his grip loosen as he backed away and gave both Christina and I a confused look. I internally praised Christina for being there cause that was really awkward and uncomfortable.

"Sorry I didn't even see you there." He turned his attention back to me. "What's wrong Laur?" Him calling me that made me cringe. It made me think of... her.

I didn't want to mess around and stuff, I wanted to just get straight to the point, so I did.  "So like, I was in a car crash," I said casually causing Christina to let out a small laugh due to how brazen I was.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" He said acting concerned as he took a step towards me, causing me to inherently step back.

"I'm fine, but I lost my memory... so I just came here to tell you that and all." I don't know why I was so awkward and chill but it just kinda happened.

We all talked for a little while about the details of the situation before it was starting to get late, so Christina and I decided it was best to leave. Overall, Adam seems like a really nice guy and if I was straight, he'd definitely be a viable option... but I'm not straight so I don't really know what's gonna happen between us. Before the car crash and everything, I must have known I was gay, so why was I gonna ask him out of whatever? Maybe I didn't know I was gay. I shook my head at the thought and tried to stop thinking about it before I gave myself a headache from overthinking.

Christina and I were back in our car and because it was only six o'clock, I decided there was somewhere else I wanted to go before heading back to her house.