Fragile Hearts (TID - Will Herondale fanfic)

Chapter 54: Anything For Love

ELEANORA'S POV
  "Jem?" I say, so softly I don't think he heard me. The drawing room's door clicks shut behind me, and Jem turns.

  I walk up to him, and Jem suddenly wraps his arms around me. Then he is sobbing into my shoulder. Silently, but I feel the depth of his sadness.

  "I am so sorry, Ella," he sobs.

  I hold Jem, whispering comforting words into his ear.

  "It wasn't your fault," I say softly. "We'd do anything for the ones whom we loved. Even if that means us giving our lives up."

  Jem nods. "Would you... would you stay with me? You seem to be the only one who understands, Ella."

  I smile sadly. "Of course, Jem. I'd stay with you no matter what."

  Jem and I walk to his room, where he lays on his bed. I take up the chair next to him. He shakes his head.

  "You can lie next to me," Jem says, a small smile playing on his lips. "We used to do so so many times, after a battle."

  I smile with him and then lay on his bed. We keep a respectable distance between us. But I fall asleep just fine.

~

  When I wake up, Jem is awake, having already changed into gear. His hair is still ruffled, though, and his eyes sleepy.

"I am going to see Tessa," he announces.

I nod slowly. "Just remember what you are trying to express to her, Jem."

Jem smiles lightly at me, picks up his violin case, and heads out of his room. I take in a deep breath. There is the slight smell of yin fen in this room. There is also the smell of the rest of Jem. Laundry soap and lemon grass and London haze.

I stand up, looking down at what I'm wearing. I already have my gear on, and I slip out of the room and to mine, changing into a dark red dress instead. It brings out my eyes. The dress has a belt at my waist, and it doesn't hug to my body, so I don't feel suffocated.

My hair is tied up elaborately in braids. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look so tired in the eyes. My face is a pale white, and strands of my hair fall into my eyes.

I don't bother pushing them back, making my way into the dining hall.

I ache to see Will, and see him I do. He stands beside Cecily in the entryway to the dining room, and everyone seems shocked. I hang back, waiting to see if I should leave. Sometimes, without Caspian, I feel excluded from all the Shadowhunters here.

"Jem, the Clave," Charlotte says, standing up with a look of agitation on her face. No one has noticed me yet. "They have not approved your marriage yet. You cannot go against them—"

Marriage?

"We cannot wait for them either," Jem says. "It could be months, a year—you know how they prefer to delay than give an answer they fear you will not like."

"And it is not as if our marriage can be their focus at the moment," Tessa says. "Benedict Lightwood's papers, searching for Mortmain—all must take priority. But this is a personal matter."

I instantly know what is going on. I just don't see what the fuss is about.

"There are no personal matters to the Clave," Will says. His voice sounds hollow and odd, as if he is a great distance away. "My mother and father—"

"There are Laws about marriage to mundanes. There are no Laws about marriage between a Nephilim and what Tessa is. And if I must, like your father, I will give up being a Shadowhunter for this."

My eyes widen.

"James—" Will starts.

"I would have thought you of all people would understand that," says Jem, the look he bends on Will both puzzled and hurt.

"I am not saying I don't understand. I'm only urging you to think—"

"I have thought." Jem says, and I hear slight hurt in his voice. "I have a mundane marriage license, legally procured and signed. We could walk into any church and marry today. I would much prefer you all be there, but if you cannot be, we will do it regardless."

"To marry a girl just to make her a widow," says Gabriel Lightwood. "Many would say that was not a kindness."

I can see Jem going rigid beside Tessa. Will starts forward, and Tessa is already on her feet, burning holes in Gabriel Lightwood with her eyes.

I decide to step in now, coughing for attention.

Even Tessa turns and looks at me.

"The Clave will always be the Clave," I say slowly, moving past Will and Cecily and stepping into the room, taking my time to reach Jem and taking his other hand. "What Jem said is true. They will keep delaying. I am not saying that we should hurry the marriage because of Jem's health. I am simply agreeing with them. Jem and Tessa are truly in love. All of us in this room can see it. I don't see what the problem is. If the Clave has a problem, they can bring it up. But it will be a while till then, with Mortmain."

Silence falls in the room, and I decide to continue on.

"However, you know that Jem and Tessa will both be in great joy during that time period. Isn't that all we want? Joy for these two people who have been through so much? As Jem said, he would marry her anyway," I smile, turning to Jem. "James Carstairs, if I have to, I will be your only guest."

Everyone is silent, and Tessa looks at me gratefully. The look Jem gives me reminds me of the time when we had first become friends.

"Jessie," I say suddenly, eyes wide as I hear the sound of the rusty gates of the Institute grinding open and the clop of horse hooves on pavement.

Charlotte's own eyes widen as well. "Oh, by the Angel. Jessamine. Come—we must go down to greet her."

I turn around, and wait for everyone to exit before proceeding to the door. Will's hand reaches out and grabs my arm gently before I can step out of the dining room.

"Nora," He says, and I slowly take his hand off my arm, turning it over to look at his palm, now smooth.

I hear his sharp intake of breath as I lift his hand to my cheek. I lean into his hand, and then he brings his other hand to the back of my neck, drawing me to him.

I let my lips touch his, and he draws me in deeper into the kiss.

I bring my hands to his shoulders, and he draws away slightly.

"You should know why I- why I did what I did," Will says in a choked voice. "I never meant to hurt you."

"You would never, Liam," I say, gently running my hands through his hair now. "I know that."