Entitled Parents

Title too long

Euthanize your pet so you can come to my birthday party, or else you're an animal abuser.

The entitled parent in this story is actually my own father. I live across the country from my parents (for a good reason) which means I don't see them very often. A few years ago was my father's 50th birthday and he was throwing a big party back home, and he wanted me to come. I didn't really want to go but it was a pretty big deal so I didn't see a way out of it.

However, I had a pet rat at the time (No I didn't keep him alone, he used to have a friend but he died of old age) and he became very sick the week of the party when I was supposed to be traveling. Sad, but not really a surprise because he was getting old. I knew he was going to die sometime in the upcoming days, and I chose to let him die at home instead of having him euthanized. Last time I took him to the vet he got such bad diarrhea I had to feed him water through a syringe so he wouldn't die from dehydration. I didn't want his last memory to be something so traumatizing, so I bundled him up in a blanket and held him in my lap until he passed instead. Dying fucking sucks, but I did what I thought was best.

So, I texted my father to let him know I wouldn't be coming to the party. We normally see each other like once per year and he makes no effort to contact me (nor do I contact him) so I don't think he has the right to expect me to be there, to be honest. It was more of a "for show" thing. I thought he would be understanding, but in retrospect, he did use to slap our dog for barking and push her nose in the pee if she couldn't hold it in, so... I wouldn't describe him as an animal lover. Anyway, here's what he texted back:

Just euthanize him then, it's just abuse at this point... and come here this weekend, it would be so fun if you came...

When I didn't respond for ten minutes, he added the following:

I can send you money so PetRat doesn't have to suffer.

Eeeh thanks, but no thanks. It was pretty obvious that he just saw PetRat as an obstacle and didn't really care what happened to him as long as I came to visit, so I said no. And I was pretty insulted that he accused me of abusing PetRat, who was actually spoiled as hell (cage door was kept open, homemade food, lots of cuddles, and he slept in a pillow fortress on my bed.) PetRat ended up dying several days before the party so I could have made it if I wanted to, but I didn't feel like it at all. Especially after that. Instead, my SO and I stayed home and buried PetRat in my father-in-law's backyard next to his rat-brother, and my FIL gave me a long hug and asked me if I was all right. Because he is a normal person who is capable of experiencing empathy. The end