Entitled Parents

But you're pretty, you can't be a lesbian! You have to date my /GAY/ son!!

Cory- friend (not his real name) Karen-Cory's mom Me/OP- Jesus himself

So, some backstory. I'm from a small town in the Midwest. Without giving too many personal details, it's one of those states everybody 100% forgets exist. So we're a very traditional, conservative location. Being gay is JUST acceptable enough that you PROBABLY won't be assaulted for it, but there are crazy protestors and bigots everywhere. I mean, everywhere. I've lived here my entire life, so has my good friend, Cory. We've known each other since kindergarten (ages 5-6) but only became friends in the sixth and seventh grade (ages 13-14 I believe).

A little info on me: I'm indeed a gasp /lesbian/ gasp. According to the people I've grown up with, this has been ABUNDANTLY obvious since I was about eight years old. I'm a pretty standard stereotype for a gay person. I'm artsy, I wear a beanie, my makeup (when I wear it) is colorful/over the top, hair is always colored, I wear flannel, and I even have a seemingly miraculous talent in softball despite literally being the least athletic person to have ever existed. I came out when I was 13, I've never looked back. Im very secure in my sexuality and proud of it. I got involved in marches and parades, etc by the time I was 14.

Info on Cory: I don't think there is literally anyway you could NOT know he was gay. He has the "gay" voice (you know what I mean), way into fashion and makeup, drag, etc. Always has been, really. Like seriously, you'd have to have never heard of a gay person or heard a stereotype to not get the hint.

But oh Cory's mom. Cory's sweet mom, she did not get it.

Info on Karen, our lovely EP: she is extremely religious, and kind of a whackadoodle. Believes that every soul is recycled (despite human population growing, everyone has apparently lived at least 1000 lives), Jesus saves, you'll burn in hell if you don't beg for forgiveness, end of times is coming, you get the point. No shit on religious people, but Karen is like some of y'all on 50 lbs of crack cocaine.

Now, this incident occurred after I had officially "come out" but not Cory, he was still in the closet because of Karen. Because I was very open about it, word spread among people pretty fast that I was a lesbian. The town keeps track of their queers pretty closely lmao. Now, I kind of made a spiral in town however. Because I was very young when I came out and adamantly refused to "seek help" or "change myself" or even "beg for forgiveness", I kind of started a stir within the other closeted kids I knew. Within a year of my coming out most of them also followed suit, Cory being the most notable one to me. It brought us closer and he told me about his struggles with accepting his body, gender expression and sexuality because of his family's religious nature.

We grew into pretty good friends, but I actually don't think we've intentionally hung out outside of classes or the bus together. We're friends, but not such close friends that we'd die for each other if you get my drift.

So one day, I go out to dinner with my aunt, grandma, grandpa and little brother to a local Italian place. I don't remember what for, a celebration of some kind. So we get our food from the buffet and eat. Alls normal, and then I see Cory and Karen walk in (I found out later they frequent the place).

Now, at this time maybe just looking at me you wouldn't say "gay". My hair was a natural color and longer than now, I was in something sort of feminine and I had some decent makeup on (like I said, it was a celebration). This didn't occur to me.

So, happy to see a friend because I was bored, I excuse myself and go to say hi to Cory. He greets me back and we talk for a little while. I think at one point I also greeted Karen, but that would be the ONLY interaction we have ever had in my life.

That was it. I went back down to eat.

Boy I was in for a treat later.

A few days pass and so I go sit by Cory on the bus. He looks exasperated. I ask what's up, and he tells me his mom is hounding on him to, get this, date me. When he told her I was a lesbian, she said something to the effect of:

Karen: disgusted voice what?! No. OP is much too pretty to be a.. a lesbian. And you two are OBVIOUSLY interested in one another.

Oh. My. God.

I lost it laughing, because it was just fucking funny knowing what I knew about her. But it didn't end there.

For MONTHS Karen grinds on Cory, telling him to ask me out, take me to dinner, introduce us (we've met?) and how cute our BABIES WOULD BE.

You can imagine Karen's reaction when she caught Cory in bed with another guy a few months in