The Queen of Elysium

Chapter 70 - If only

As Aren's talons transform into leather encased feet, so his nerves kick up a gear. Beside him, Drake starts striding over the cobbled bridge towards Avalon's main entrance, yet he cannot make his feet move.

Drake returns and grabs a fistful of his jacket. "Come on." He gives Aren no choice but to follow.

When they reach the guarded gateway, Aren holds his breath, not even sure that he will be allowed passage. There are no angry retorts, nor wrathful bolts of lightning. They pass unimpeded through the gatehouse and exit into bright sunshine. 

His nerves twang like a lute and he tries to lessen the noise of his footfall on the gravel path through the main quad. On either side, the flower beds are brimming with dazzling tulips and blousy peonies competing for attention. It emphasises just how many moons it has been since he was last here, when the beds were showing off their autumn colours.

"Are you sure that you do not want to speak with her?" A frown mars Drake's brow. "I am sure that she would welcome you. Furthermore, she would be saddened to know that you were here and did not wish to see her."

Aren grabs his friend's arm, pulling them both to a stop. "Please, she cannot know that I am here."

Drake's jaw tightens, but he eventually nods. They continue in silence, having to go through the palace to reach the formal gardens beyond. As they step back outside, Aren covers his head with the hood of his cloak in an attempt to keep his visit clandestine.

Not a moment too soon, for a marquee is set up on the lawn and several members of the court are milling around outside it. Having taken one of the servants' doors, they are able to slip by unnoticed and Drake leads him to a private nook.

"If you wait here, I will go and see if I can find them."

"Would ..." Aren falters, not knowing how far he is pushing his luck. "Would you and Tabbi consider joining me for dinner in the city tonight?"

Drake's stern expression breaks into a grin and he slaps Aren's shoulder. "You can be sure of it."

Aren sinks onto a bench which is almost completely surrounded by lilac trees. It will be another moon before the tight flower buds will bloom. He realises it is the same place where he sat with Elissa and cannot help thinking that fate is needling him.

Twisting in his seat, he peeks through the branches and watches as Drake wanders across the lawn. There is a squeal as Tabbi spots her fiancé. She runs full pelt at him, her curls bouncing, and jumps into his arms. Aren feels a stirring of guilt for his part in keeping them apart.

Then a figure emerges from the tent with hair like a moonlit waterfall. His heart leaps in his chest and his irises change, bestowing him with the sight of an eagle. Her smile is like sunlight, bathing its recipients in warmth. A warmth he once felt.

The haunting cry of raptor echoes in his mind, as his eagle alter ego is unable to articulate its grief in words. He responds, She is happy though. That is the most important thing.

Once Tabbi has disentangled herself, Elissa throws her arms around Drake and kisses his cheek. Then she crouches down and scoops up a small green creature gambolling about her skirts, before holding it up to show Drake. The little dragon settles in her palm and wraps its tail around her wrist.

Aren cannot hear what she is saying, but her grin is infectious, and he finds his lips curling into a smile, even though it pains him even more than he thought to not be a part of her world.

The girls drag Drake into the tent and finally Aren is able to look away, instead staring almost blindly at the fountain cascading into a pool. Countless times he has wished that he could just go back in time and stop the damage before it happened, but 'if only's' cannot help him.