Queen & Beatles | OneShots

Roger Taylor - Happy

After eight months, you finally say something to Roger. You are surprised when he kisses you. You are even more surprised when he picks you up and carries you to bed. You've been in love him for years, but you never thought this would actually happen.

"You know," He's holding you close, stroking your hair, kissing the top of your head. "I haven't felt this happy in a long time."

"Happy?" He shifts so he can look into your eyes. "Why?"

"What do you mean why? It's simple," You kiss him softly. "Being here, with you, it just makes me happy."

Roger smiles softly at you. He strokes your cheek with the back of his hand.

"I've wanted this too. I don't want this to be a one time thing or a random night here and there. I just need you to understand something. I don't do happy, (Y/N). I care about you, but happy just isn't for me."

You feel a pang in your chest but you nod. You love this man and you'll take what he will give. It doesn't mean you can't be happy. Just don't expect it from him. But things had changed between the two of you. Roger was so openly affectionate. He wraps his arms around you. He holds your hand. He kisses you. Roger makes sure that you're sitting next to him whenever possible. He protects you. And you find yourself wanting to believe he loves you.

But he doesn't do happy.

You try to do the little things. Listen to his music. Help with lyrics and offer him your opinions. You listen to his rants about the other boys after stressful studio days. You're his moral support.

"I was thinking maybe we could take a weekend and go somewhere?" You tell him one night.

"We could go to that Led Zep concert, stay overnight in a hotel?"

"That sounds nice." The two of you had initially bonded over your similar taste in music and he liked to show you songs he'd written. He had a lot of musical talent and you even had a good eye for lyrics.

He pushes pieces of your hair out of your face.

"Darling, this....this is good."

"Are you happy?" You dare to ask.

His eyes cloud over for a moment and he sighs.

"I don't do happy, (Y/N). What we've got is great though, isn't it?"

You rest your head on his shoulder. You want to believe in your heart that he's happy. You know he has to be. The way he looks at you, smiles at you, holds you.... he has to be happy. It's like he won't admit it to himself. Which means that you're both suffering.

A few days later, your life with Roger is turned upside down.

It's been three months since he'd returned from tour and he was spending every day with him. The three most amazing months of your life. You wake early and go to the store. You're going to surprise him with breakfast in bed. You plan to pack a picnic dinner, a cooler full of beer, and have a moonlit picture under the stars that night.

When you return, you hear Roger in the kitchen. He's arguing with Brian.

"Don't tell me what I need to say or do, Bri."

"I'm not. All I'm saying is to be careful if you're not invested because she loves you."

"I know. I care about her."

"Do you love her?" Brian asks. "Are you going to let yourself have this? Because if not then you can't be surprised when she moves on. You know that, don't you?"

He's right. You can't imagine leaving Roger now but eventually it was inevitable because you'd want more.

You wait with baited breath. Maybe he will tell Brian how he feels....

"I can't, Bri. I don't do that. We both know it doesn't work out for me." Roger is dramatic and Brian has to sigh at him.

"You don't think this is different? She's been on tour with us. You know that (Y/N) gets it."

He knows that. It's what draws him back to you. Someone that understands how he lives and doesn't pile on the pressure. It was nice and he appreciated it but the whole point of your relationship was that it wasn't a relationship.

"That's what makes her right, Bri.
She's exactly the woman I want in my life."

"So be with her properly?"

"I don't want to. Well, It's not that I don't... every time, something goes wrong. Then I won't have her at all."

Brian takes a deep breath. "Do you trust her?"

"With my life."

"Do you love her, Rog? Don't bullshit me. Do you love her?" Brian was the closest thing Roger had to sound advice, though he wouldn't admit it. He asked the questions that Roger was scared to ask himself and he did so with confidence.

Roger is quiet for a few minutes and you set the bags down just outside the kitchen down and go back to your room. You don't want to know. You don't need to know. Because Roger 'doesn't do happy'. He was open and honest about that and you knew what you'd gotten yourself into. But you found happiness for the first time in him. You wanted to let yourself feel it, but there's something soul destroying in loving someone who doesn't love you back. That man doesn't do happy. So he was man who wouldn't love you.

You sit on your bed, trying to decide your next move. You want to stay, but you think you should go. Your brain tells you to run, fast and far. Your heart says to stay, give yourself time to adjust to what will be a new normal, and go back to how things were before.

"(Y/N)," He voice cuts through your thoughts. "We heard you put the bags down..."

"I didn't mean to listen in. I'm sorry."

"How much did you hear?" He sits next to you and pulls you into him.

"Enough." You try and move, it doesn't feel right to be so normal and intimate with him right now. But he doesn't let you, if anything he just holds you closer. He won't let go and he won't look at you, so you try to ask. "Roger-?"

"I love you," He whispers, finally. You really aren't sure you hear him right the first time. "I... I want to let myself but-"

"Scared? Yeah. I've never felt like this about anyone," You tell him. "But I don't expect perfect, I know we're going to fuck up sometimes, both of us. That doesn't mean we don't get to be happy."

"I don't let myself be happy. I don't like getting attached. Especially to someone who deserves so much better. And you do. You could do so much better than me, love."

"I'll decide that," You tell him. "I just- I need to know you feel something. I mean, I know you appreciate me, but-"

"God, (Y/N), I more than appreciate you. Never done relationships really. But I'm learning," He leans in and kisses you softly. "Can you just be patient with me? I know you said we'd fuck up but I think I'll fuck up royally and I don't want to lose you completely."

You nod, easily, it doesn't come as a surprise to hear Roger doubt himself so much.

"Of course."

"It'll get better, Sweetheart, I'm glad I can make you happy without even trying. But now am I trying. And I'm more determined than ever." He tells you, almost grinning but not quite. That was enough for you.