𝐈𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 💵

twenty-eight

I took out my phone and tried to call Finn again. I didn't know if he had a new phone, a new number or just didn't want to hear me. No one picked up. I tried to call him again. No one picked up. I sighed and put my phone on the table.

Why? I still didn't know. I didn't even want to turn on the TV. I knew there would be something about me. And my stupid idea of stealing food. I stood up and went to the front door. I hesitated but then I went outside. I knew Finn was not in the woods. But where could I search for him then. I went downtown. I showed some people a picture of Finn but no one knew him. I went to every place I knew and searched for Finn. The arcade,  some shopping malls, parks and lakes. He was nowhere. It was already 4pm. I still couldn't believe he left me like this. All alone. Thinking I would be safer.

I started to walk back home. On my way I stopped at the place where my old house was. But it wasn't my house anymore. It was burned down. The whole house. I put my hands to my mouth and swallowed. My whole house consisted of ash. Was this even real? I came closer to the house and looked at everything. Really everything was burned down. "What happened hear?" I asked myself. I was shocked and I had goosebumps on my whole body.

That was to much for me. I ran back to Jack's house and unlocked the front door. I felt terrible. Like someone wanted to hurt me again. I knew it wasn't safe. I couldn't go out again.

4 days have passed. I started to get more depressed. I knew I had already a life without Finn but this was different. It was different because I met him in person and decided to spend the rest of my life with him. But now he's gone and he left a hole in my heart. A hole what bleeds. I felt my broken heart more. Every day it got worse. And now. The only thing I did was sitting on the sofa. I had no sleep. For days. My eyes burned. But I couldn't sleep. Everything I did was sitting on the sofa. That was all I wanted to.

I saw Finn right before my eyes. Every time I thought about this freckles. Those honey brown eyes. The full lips and those black curls. I saw him. But not with me. He was just in my head. And in real life......I didn't know. I suffered. I really suffered.

I laid on the sofa. My eyes on the floor. What was this? This was not a beautiful life that's sure. But why should I continue living. I had nothing. Absolutely nothing. "So why should I continue?" I thought to myself.

I stood up and went to the window. It was windy outside and there were clouds on the sky. All I wanted was Finn. I wanted his warm hugs he used to give me. I wanted to feel his warm breath on my neck. I wanted to hold his soft hands. I wanted to touch his beautiful soft hair and to feel his soft cheeks. And I wanted to feel his soft lips on my lips and his arms, pulling me closer. I wanted him. But he.....the person who promised me not to leave me, left me. All alone. And it hurt. I was injured. On the inside and on the outside.

I went to the front door and then outside. I didn't care if it was dangerous. I didn't care if I would die. My life was nothing without Finn. I went back to the woods. It was the only place where I felt better. The smell of the wood made me always calm down. It was cold outside but I didn't care. I walked slowly and looked down. It was hopeless to scream Finn's name. I lost all my hope. He wouldn't come back. He said he did it because he loved me. But did he really mean it or not? Who would do something like this to a person who he loved?

I felt heavy and exhausted. Everything reminded me of Finn. The woods, the house. Even myself.

The wind got stronger. I was already in the deepest part of the woods. The part of the woods I was afraid of. But now I didn't care. I could hear the trees and my footsteps. I felt like I would fall to the ground in a few minutes. My whole body felt so heavy. Was this even normal?

Then I fell to the ground.

Darkness

And then there was someone. A voice I knew. Someone who picked me up. I knew this voice. I slowly opened my eyes and saw him. Finn. "W-W-What?" I said in exhausted voice. "It was a mistake. I'm sorry Grace." I heard his voice. He leaned down to kiss me and then......

I woke up

I just fell asleep. Of course it was just a dream. I noticed a tear on my cheek. And I still laid on the floor. It was raining a little bit and but the wind was gone. I was wondering how long I slept.

I stood up but fell to the ground again. I felt like I was drunk. I stood up again and this time I didn't fall. It was darker now and it was hard to see something. I started to walk outside of the woods. I had enough. I decided to go to the cliff. I didn't know why but I just wanted to go there.

I walked and walked and after a while I could hear the water a little bit. The cliff was very high so the water was very loud too. I searched for a way to the cliff but I knew I was near the cliff.

After a while I found the bush where I went through the first time and I was right. There was the cliff. I had found the cliff. I was proud at myself.

-
1042 words

I'm sorry for all this drama :)