𝐈𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 💵

twenty-nine

Listen to the song again if you want. I just like the song and think it fits with the situation.

I sat down on the edge of the cliff. It was probably not pretty smart and safe to sit there but I didn't care. There were still big rocks under me and I knew if I would fall I would die immediately. I laid down on the floor with my feet still down to the water. "Finn where are you?" I whispered. I couldn't hear myself. The water was to loud.

I remembered the day when Finn felled down the cliff. The day he tried to save me. How I saw him with all this blood. I remembered it like yesterday. That was the day I thought I had lost Finn. But he was alive. That was all I wanted. Finn with me. And alive.

I stood up carefully and took a few steps back. Was this what I wanted? Was this really what I wanted? To jump down and end it all? My suffering all this.

I wanted Finn. But I couldn't get him. So was this what I wanted then. I thought about it. I yelled 'Finn' for the last time but there was no response. "He won't come back Grace. Stop yelling his name." I said to myself.

I took some steps forward and looked down. The rocks looked very threatening but I didn't want this anymore. It was the only way. I thought about everything. "I do this for you Finn!" I whispered. It was like the time stand still for a moment. I went through everything I've been through with Finn. How I met him at the first time in the woods. With his yellow beanie. How we were at the arcade, and at the cafe and at the lake. How he saved me. Often enough. How his hugged felt. His kisses and his hands. And his voice. That's what I missed. His voice. This calming voice. And this gaze. I missed everything.

"I guess this is the time where I have to jump." I said to myself. "Alright Finn. Is that what you want? To see me dying? You said you want me to be safe. Then why did you go?" I yelled.

I looked down again and swallowed. It was pretty high. "That's where I ended up. Trying to kill myself." I said. I was desperate. I looked around for the last time in the hope Finn would stand there. Then I looked back down. "I love you Finn. I hope you'll never forget that."I whispered and closed my eyes. I felt the rain on my body and I heard the water.

I leaned down and felt already the rocks. I started to fall but......

Someone grabbed my arm. I opened my eyes and stared down to the rocks and the water. I just felt someone holding my arm. And then pulling me back up. I stared down the whole time. I was shocked. I wasn't dead. I stood back on the ground. I wanted to know who pulled me back up. I hesitated. But then I turned around.

I saw him. I saw Finn. Was this a dream again? What if I was dead? I felt tears in my eyes. We stared at each other. I slowly took a few steps closer and touched his cheek. He was real. He was real. I stared into his eyes. I couldn't take this longer. I pulled him closer to me and kissed him.

I should be mad but believe me, when you would see this honey brown eyes, this black curls, this freckles, this full lips and this cheek bones you would do the same thing.

I felt his hands on my back. I missed this. This warm hand on my back. I ran through his hair with my hand and had to smile through the kiss. Finn broke away from the kiss.

"I'm so sorry Grace. I'm so fucking stupid. How could I think you would be safer without me. I don't know how to make amends." he said and touched my cheek. I touched his hand. I was just so happy he was back. "I-I-It's ok Finn. I now know that I really can't live without you." I said. I had tears in my eyes. "I'll never ever do that again. Never ever. I'm so dump. A sorry is not enough. I broke my promise. I'm so...." I interrupt him, "sometimes people do dump things. It's ok Finn. I-I understand." I said and smiled weak.

He hugged me and wrapped his arms around me. "When I saw you there at the edge of the cliff......gosh I never had that feeling before. Grace I love you." he said. "I-I love you too." I said and tried no to cry.

He came back to me. Was this real? "I can't believe you came back to me Finn." I said and started to cry. I couldn't hold it in anymore. "I came back. Because I saw how much I love you and how dumb I was." he said and stroke my head. "I-I-I looked for you everywhere. But you were gone. It-It broke my heart. I did stupid things." I said and buried my face more in Finn's shoulder. "What? What happened?" he said. "I had to steal food. It was awful Finn." I said.

Silence

"I left you all alone without looking for food or money. I can't even imagine how you feel. I'm so sorry Grace." he said and wrapped his arms around me. "I-It's ok. You're back that's all I wanted." I said. Finn broke away from the hug and looked at me. "That was the last time you had to feel like that. I'm a jerk." he said and smiled weak. "I love you Wolfhard." I said and smiled. "I love you too." he said and we started to walk back to Jack's house.

I never was so happy in my life. Finn came back to me. He came back for me.

We arrived at Jack's house and I was more than happy.

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