Chanyoel POV:
Tao leaving caused a huge gap in our lives and hearts. Things are gloomy here. It seems secrets are our groups norm.
We start working with each other tomorrow and honestly I don't think I can handle being so close to Sehun again. Especially after all that's happen. Its no secret we haven't been as close but I miss the way we were.
When life happens its amazing how we distance ourseleves from others to achieve or get done with what's needed. Naturally I expected our relationship to take a bit of a hit but not like this.
Completely distant and simple "hi's" now and again. Plus it pisses me off how jongin replaced me.
I miss my Sehunnie. Lately Sehun is all that's been in my head. At this point what's happening with kyungsoo and I. I can't seem to bother.
I miss the days Sehun and I would just chill.
Sighing luck just ain't on my side.
"You look like shit"
I look up to an all to fimilar puppy giving me his 100 dollar smile. My heart flatters. No matter what happens. No one can take his spot.
"I feel like it too" I reply giving a weak smile.
He sighs. Shaking his head while looking down. Pushing him self off the wall he walks to take a seat next to me.
"What's on that Yoda mind channie?"
He asked me looking looking into my eyes so deep I close it. I sigh once again leaning my forehead on his. I hear him gasp before taking a stran of hair behind my ear. the small gesture makes me smile.
No one will have this effect the way beakhyun does. A sudden pang fills my heart. Our sweet times fill my head and I feel my throat constrict. I feel like crying. After all this time I still feel regret.
"Beak I'm so sorry. " I speak into his neck. Wrapping my arms around his tiny waist breathing in all of 'the beakhyun'(stop laughing! I didnt know what smell to put for our puppy so I let him do him. i feel beak will have that home Sense of smell. That you just can't help but love.)
I feel him stiffen before wrapping his arms around me. I will never ever forgot this kind of hugs and intimcey with him.
"Chanyoel don't. Don't do this to me... Please"
His voice is soft and above a whisper. I feel my shirt wet and I pick his face whipping his tears. I don't even care at this point that I'm crying with him. His the one my heart always yearns for. My soulmate. I never stopped loving him nor will I ever. I just learned to love someone else.
"I'm so sorry, I'm selfish. your happy now and look. In less then five minutes I make you cry. "
He shakes his head and just hugs me. I hold him as tight as I can would out hurting him. God knows I'll lay my life down for him.
"That's not fair Channie! I wish you fought! As happy as I am right now with chen I saw my life with you! Why chanyoel! Why couldn't you try just a little bit harder."
He cries harder into my shirt. I just let him. I don't even mind the fact he hits me on my chest repeadly without strenght. I don't feel anything but my breaking spirit. If only I trustrd my self.
Flashback..
"Chanyoel. If they find out about you and beakhyun you both can kiss your dreams good bye. " manger yara said.
"But I dont understand what about us is so wrong. I mean our sexual orientation has nothing to do with our talent." Chanyoel said desperately. Pleading to logic.
Yara shakes her head. She furrows her brows. Its so stupid to think that someone of his caliber wouldn't understand this simple knowledge.
"Chanyoel you are confusing your affection for your best friend as a lover. Its sick. Gays are disgusting. What do you think the public would say when they find out the hot crushes are busy fuckin each other "
She spits with distaste.
"But-
"But nothing chanyoel. Take your dick out of his ass before I take it out for you" smirking she watches as confusion takes over his face.
she will win this. Chanyoel is so hot and besides his not really a fag. Just confused. It sickens her. She watches with satisfaction as chanyoel bites his lip in worry and sighs.
"Fine"
Chanyoel voice is bearly above a whisper. filled with the most heartbroken face and looking broken.
Yara gleefully smacks her hands and tells him he made the right choice. Chanyoel leaves the room.
His greeted with soft pair of brown eyes and a puppy smile. Giving him a concern look. Now he has to decide how to tell the man he loves what just happened...
***
Who ever said distance makes the heart grow fonder lied. And we are fools to believe it...
