Until you came (Zarry) /English Version

48. Heart broken

Zayn

Two hours later, my doorbell rings. My thoughts had been clouded by the wine. Now I can think clearly again and suddenly I don't want a quick shag anymore with Liam. The mood has changed because I miss one person who is important to me - my curly head.

It rings permanently and I run quite annoyed to the door to tear it open and yell out my anger. Suddenly I hear a conversation in front of my apartment.

I thought I'd have a heart attack.

The hot bartender is standing outside my front door with Harry. Both seem visibly annoyed and so am I.

Neither of us says a word. Harry has those big, sad eyes and Liam instantly throws his arms around my neck.

"Hey Zayn! I hope you didn't have to wait that long. I came as fast as I could," he says and quickly kisses me on the cheek. He looks at me expectantly from his brown eyes.

I am still perplexed and stand motionless and lost on my own doorstep.

"Uhm...". To be honest, I lack the words and my gaze wanders back and forth between the two men who expect to hear something from me.

Harry is still speechless and looks so disappointed. You can literally feel his pain and the surprise.

"Have I come at an inconvenient time?" it suddenly tumbles out of him.

Liam answers the question immediately and doesn't let me get a word in.

"Well, this beautiful man," he points his finger at me and taps against my chest, "and I have a date actually. I didn't know Zayn was planning a threesome," he laughs mischievously, rubbing his palms together and getting me in lot of trouble with this statement.

Harry's eyes nearly pop out of his head and my jaw drops. He opens his mouth as if he wanted to reply, but then remains silent.

Liam continues with his awful blather.

"I've nothing against it in principle - I mean a threesome. But you could have mentioned that before, Zayn."

I wish the ground would open up and swallow me.

My goodness, why doesn't he just keep his mouth shut. That is so embarrassing and at the same time deadly for me when I look at Styles facial expression. As if I don't have enough trouble already, the barman puts me in an impossible situation and Haz will hate me forever. A threesome with Liam and Harry? Never. I don't share Harry with anyone.

"Great, Zayn. I'm amazed that you're having such a great time while others are fighting for their lives," my darling says.

"What are you talking about?" I ask annoyed and currently angry. "You just need it. Don't talk big and don't blame me. Have you forgotten what a day today was?" I hiss.

My pulse is rising at an alarming rate.

"I had my opening today, and I didn't see you there. So don't give me a lecture," I snap back.

Harry throws back one's head, takes a deep breath, while Liam stands next to it, innocent and stupid looking. The barman doesn't seem to understand anything anymore.

"There's a reason for it, Malik." the curly-haired man nags.

"Oh really? Is one of your explanations coming up now? Just save it. Because I don't want to hear it anymore. How many times have we been to this point? Once, twice?"

Slowly I get more and more angry and have to be careful what I say to him. Harry has thoroughly ruined my evening with his coming.

"You weren't there, Hazza! It would have meant so much to me", I scream and am close to tears. "And every time you let me down again, you tell me one of your many apologies. I've had enough of it. Grow up, Harry, and finally make a decision."

My face is red as a beet, at least it feels hot and my heart is thumping like mad. I am so in a rage that my hands have to clutch somewhere, that I don't smash everything to pieces. Liam stands, just like Harry, a little ducked in the door frame and is completely surprised by my emotional outburst.

"Are you two done blaming each other?" he says and the mood gets heated. "So are we going to have a threesome or not?"

Now Harry also reacts and to give vent to his anger.

"What? Did I hear right? You have some nerves. Can't you see what this is all about? We are not talking about a threesome! You want to have fun with my man tonight? You...you...", he shouts at the athletically man and his eyes flash aggressively. His hands reach towards Liam, but then sink without touching him. Liam rolls his eyes and keeps silent in shock.

"And now to you." He gives me an evil eye and I feel his fist on my upper body. "You seem to have regenerated quickly or fallen in love anew, Malik. "I don't think you need me here any longer.", he hisses, but I clearly hear the jealousy in his voice.

Out of sheer disappointment and frustration at his absence at the opening, I suddenly hear myself saying words that I will regret forever and that I never mean.

"Liam? I didn't have a threesome in mind when I invited you. Harry came spontaneously and will leave immediately, won't he? His wife is waiting for him at home. My boyfriend unfortunately can't decide for me and prefers to continue the charade."

That hit home! Oh my God, what am I talking about? Hazza's face is now as white as a sheet, he' s struggling to regain his composure.

"Please Liam, why don't you go into the apartment," I take the cake, and officially I'm a dead man in Harry's eyes.

Liam nods, turns to the curly head and says: "No offense. I'd rather have Zayn all for myself. A threesome wouldn't have been my thing. But there is a first time for everything. Oh and something else. You're quite an idiot if you don't stand by Zayn. Go to your wife, Harry. Good night". Then he slips past him and disappears into the apartment.

Like strangers we now face each other, without saying a word, loveless and cast a shadow of sorrow.

We stand facing each other like strangers, without saying a word, loveless and cast a shadow of sorrow. "It was our apartment, Zayn. It was our secret and you gave it away to some stranger. You betrayed us, Zayn."

There is disappointment and sadness in his voice. I went too far, crossed the line. "There is no us anymore."

"Haz."

I don't want to talk about it, I'm too exhausted from the happenings. He wasn't there when I needed it him the most. He hurt my feelings too badly.

"Well, I guess that's it then. How long has it been going on with you two?" he wants to know and he sounds so bitter.

"There's nothing going on between us, Harry. We met tonight by chance in the pub. I was frustrated because you didn't come. I needed you by my side. We wanted to make our love official today, remember? Did you get cold feet? Harry, I would have laid the world at your feet, but you preferred to stay away. For whatever reason. Why are you making such a scene? You don't want us! This apartment was ours!"

And before my beautiful Harry can answer, I close the wing door and leave him alone in the stairwell. That's really not easy for me - quite the reverse. My heart hurts so much and breaks into pieces. My pride and my self-respect let me do this. I know I'm losing him with it, but I'm too hurt, I give vent to my feelings.

Maybe that was a farewell. At that moment I don't know. Maybe our beginning love is finally over now. Behind the big door I am sinking to the ground and crying. On the other side of the door the love of my life is sobbing loudly, broken as I am.