Chapter 4

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nathans pov

I woke up the next morning again because I heard music. I got out of my bed and saw Ellen dancing around the kitchen making food. "hi." I said. "morning." she said and flipped over her bacon. "you always happy in the morning?" I asked, she nodded. "cause they were never there." said said and popped a skittle in her mouth.

"let's go shopping." I said. "what?" she asked. "well, you're just wearing sivas old clothes. So let's go get you new ones." I said, she cocked her head at me. "but I haven't got any money." she said. "so, I'll buy." I said. "shopping, I used to like that." she said, I smiled. "then let's go." I said, she nodded slowly. "ok." she said, I went to the bunks and pulled on a jacket and hat.

I gave her one of my jackets and she took it and pulled it on. "come on." I said and walked onto the street. It was early, maybe nine o'clock and there weren't that many people on the street. "so, where do you want to go?" I asked.

"wherever, I don't know this place." she said as she eyed the streets carefully. I could tell she was scared, by the way she was playing with her wrist and looking around. "hey, it's alright." I said reassuringly. She shrugged and we rounded a corner and went into a mall. It was huge and it was the mall we'd come to when we needed clothes.

There were a bunch of people shopping and she was staying close to a wall so she wouldn't have to get near them. I brought her into an h&m and we looked around. "see anything you like?" i asked, she shrugged. "come on, what do you like, in general?" I asked, she shrugged again. "come on, you've got to like some stuff." I said, she looked up at me. "honestly, I've forgotten what I like." she whispered.

I frowned and saw a shirt with yoshi on it. "well, Come on, don't you like this guy?" I asked and made it dance around. "boing, boing. Yoshi!" I said, she laughed and it made me grin. "I guess." she said, I put the shirt around my arm and looked around. "oh and look, it's superman!" I shouted and picked up a superman shirt. "he saves the world and theres an 's' that stands for sykes." I said.

"I think it stands for superman." she corrected. "depend on what you want it to mean." I said and put it on my arm. "and oh look at this, you gotta love mushroom guy!" I shouted and grabbed the mushroom shirt. "imma mushroom imma mushroom imma mushroom." I said,she laughed and grabbed the shirt. "if I get it will you stop that?" she laughed, I nodded. "I'm getting it." she said and I cracked a grin.

"come on, you know you love my mushroom voice." I joked and paid for the shirts. We left the store and walked through the mall. "now, you need some pants, shirts, shorts, shoes, jackets and stuff like that." I said, she nodded and we looked around. "oh I love that shirt." she said and pointed to a shirt that had a wolf on it.

I grabbed it for her. "then let's get it." I said, we looked and she ran over and grabbed a pair of black suede, silver studded shoes. "I like these." she said, we bought those as well. As the day progressed, she seemed to become a little bit more sure of herself and it was great to see her like this again. "I like this." she said. "like what?" I asked, trying to see what I could buy for her. "this, shopping with you." she said, I smiled.

"I aim to please love." I said and she smiled at me. "well, thank you Nathan." she added. "no problem." I replied, we went into a big store and she saw a jacket and walked over. "I really like this." she said, it was a black leather jacket that had some studs on it and the letter 'S' in the back. "then you shall have it." I took it and paid for it, that ran up my bill a bit, but fuck it.

We left that store and passed a La Senza. "you need that stuff ya?" I asked as I looked at all the underwear, she nodded so we went in. She tried a bunch of stuff on and finally once we had it all we started towards the food court. "Nathan!" shouted a girl, oh fuck.

A bunch of girls ran over and Ellen jumped behind me. "girls girls, please calm down." I said, they were all flipping out and Ellen had pressed her face into my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her waist and she stiffened against me. "please girls, not now." I begged. "but Nathan..." they started. "no please, she really hates crowds." I begged as Ellen was nearly sobbing into my shoulder.

"guys, please go!" I begged, they grumbled, but left and I looked down at Ellen. "hey." I said, she wasn't looking up. "Ellen, look at me." I said, she slowly picked her head up and looked at me. "it's ok." I whispered, I reached out to brush the tears off her cheek and she froze. "don't." she whispered, I stopped and she pulled away from me.

"I want to go back to the bus." she said as she rubbed her arms. "ok." I said and I picked up the bags and we left the mall. There were a lot of people on the street and Ellen was standing right behind me so they wouldn't get close to her. We got to the bus and she ran u the stoats and jumped in the shower.

"where did you two get off to?" asked siva. "shopping." I said as I put all her bags down in a corner. "oh, buy anything interesting?" asked max, I shrugged. "just brought her a bunch of clothes." I said as I went to get tea. Maggie was sitting on a couch with jay, while Tom and max were on another couch and siva was on his ps3. Ellen came out of the shower a while later and gave me a halfhearted smile.

"you alright?" I asked, she nodded slowly. "I think so." she said, then walked over and grabbed her bags. She pulled out a few things and went into the bathroom. I sat down on the floor and drank my tea. She came out again, this time in a pair of green Jean shorts, a pink v neck shirt and a green yoshi hat.

She pulled on a dark blue British flag jumper and came and sat down next to siva. "so, what are we doing today?" she asked. "to the next gig, I don't know where it is." said siva, she nodded. "we've actually been waiting on you." commented jay as the bus started moving. "oh, I'm sorry." apologized Ellen. "nah, it's fine." said jay. "ellen, can we talk?" asked Maggie, Ellen shook her head. "no." she said.

"please, I'm begging you, I'll make you bacon and Mac n cheese." said Maggie, Ellen shook her head. "I can do it myself." replied Ellen, Maggie sighed. "you really have changed, if you aren't to lazy to make food." said Maggie and jag put his arm around her to reassure her. Ellen looked at me and I gave her a halfhearted smile.

Siva turned off the video game and we put on the tv and flipped through till siva settled on the English premier league. Ellen stiffened and got up, she left and went to the beds. I stood up and went after her. She was curled up on sivas bed and I went and stood next to her. "you ok?" I asked, she shuddered. "they used to watch the games.." she started. "if their team lost..." she trailed off "they each supported a different team." she whispered, I ached to hug her and tell her it was going to be all right.

"Ellen, it's ok." I said and reached my hand out. She flinched like I was about to hit her and I dropped my hand away. "Ellen, I'm not going to hit you. Can I touch you?" I asked, she shivered, but looked up into my eyes. "maybe." she whispered, I reached out and I could see the fear in her eyes, but she didn't pull away.

I cupped her jaw in my hand and brushed my thumb over her cheek. "Ellen." I breathed as she looked at me, her eyes filled with fear. "it's alright, I will never hurt you." I said, she just shuddered. "you're safe here." i added. "i promise." she looked at me. "enough, please." she whispered,I took my hand away and she immediately rubbed her face where I'd been touching her.

She curled into a ball under the covers and I sighed. The spark in her eyes was gone and I hoped up into my bed, waiting for tomorrow morning when it would be back and I'd love it.

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