Chapter 11

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nathans pov

When I woke up I was absolutely freezing. I shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around me. I frowned and opened my eyes. Ellen wasn't there, I sighed and stood up, pulling the blanket with me. I walked into the room and saw Ellen was asleep on the bed beside siva. I crossed the room and made my way into the kitchen.

I made tea and started cooking some breakfast when I heard someone behind me. I turned and saw Ellen walk in and I smiled. "morning love." I said cheerfully. "morning." she sighed. "what's wrong?" I asked, she shrugged. "i won't give you bacon if you don't tell me." I teased, she just looked down and started playing with her fork.

I sat down next to her and put a bunch on her plate. "I was joking love." I said, she gave me a half hearted smile and started eating. We sat in silence for a while until I figured I might as well try again. "so, whats up?" I asked. "I'm waiting for you to break up with me, and its scaring me." she admitted.

"babe, why would you be waiting for that?" I asked. "because nothing good ever lasts." she said as she ate another piece of bacon. "that's not true." I defended. "not to me." she sighed. "oh love, why do you think I'd break up with you? And why are you scared?" I asked. "I don't know, I don't fucking know why I'm scared, maybe because I'm scared you'll just up and leave me." she said.

"I would never, I swear." I said, she gave me another half hearted smile. "almost enough for me to believe you Nath, because I want to believe you, but I...I just can't." she whispered. "don't worry about it love, just eat your breakfast, I'm going to get dressed." I said and kissed her head, then got up and went into my room.

As I grabbed the tux that had been left on my bed I was thinking about Ellen. She was really fucked up, but, for some weird reason, I didn't want to lose her, I just wanted her better. I finally pulled the tux on and ran a brush through my hair. I was trying to get the tie done when I walked back into the kitchen.

"you wouldn't know how to tie a tie would you?" I asked Ellen, she looked at me and laughed, then walked over. She took it and started tying it together. She wasn't smiling anymore though. "Ellen?" I asked. "what?" she asked quickly. "you alright?" I asked her. "ya, I used to have to tie their ties, they were church going people, every fucking Sunday they went." she replied.

"that's just wrong." I whispered, she nodded. "I know, that's why I don't believe in god Nathan, you'd think he'd have stopped them, but they said god forgives everyone, that he'll forgive them for their sins, so they won't even be going to hell." she said softly. "it isn't fair." she whimpered and I knew she was about to cry.

I started to reach out and she looked at me with scared eyes, I gritted my teeth and put my hands back down by my side. But if I hadn't, I could have touched her, she didn't try and stop me, that made me know that there was hope for us. "love, please don't cry, those bastards are going to hell, no matter what they say, that their god will forgive them, he won't. This is to grave a sin to be forgiven, karma will get them." I said.

She sighed and rested her forehead on my chest. "I hope so." she sighed. "don't worry love." I said and reached up and stroked her hair, which she actually let me do. "they will pay for what they did Ellen, I promise you that." I said, she pulled back a little finished my tie. "there you go." she said I smiled. "thank you." I replied.

"come on, you've got to get dressed to." I said. "wait what?" she asked, I grinned. "you are my girlfriend right?" I asked, she looked at me, then nodded slowly. "well, we're going to the VMA's today and you are coming with me." I said and her eyes went wide. "but, there's so many people." she whispered, I nodded.

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