Chapter 27

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Nathans pov

I'd overreacted when I'd seen all the stuff the officers had, it had just been books and stuff they needed for their questions. Ellen had sat on my lap and answered all their questions, pointed at pictures of them in books and I could tell she was trying hard to keep herself in check.

"well, that's about it, we just need to check you over for injuries." said one and he stood up, Ellen flinched and I put her down on the couch and stood up, putting myself between her and the officer. "like hell." I growled. "Nathan." hissed Martin. "no, you aren't touching her." I said, narrowing my eyes. "that's where I draw the line. She's done everything you wanted, everything, you are not going to touch her." I shouted furiously.

We fought for a while, but they finally conceded and left saying they'd be in touch. Ellen immediately went and had a shower, as we started driving. Once we got to LA we stopped at the airport and it dawned on me then that we'd have to fly again, with Ellen, oh fuck.

"baby?" I asked as I knocked on the bathroom door. She opened it immediately and walked out fully clothed, her hair wasn't even wet. "how long have you been out of the shower?" I asked, she shrugged. "I only had a five minute shower, then I was sitting, I was sort of hopping you'd come in." she whispered and I smiled.

"sorry I didn't." I said and she shrugged. "Ellen we have to fly again." I said and she stiffened. "look, we can give you sleeping pills so you sleep the whole time." I said, she shook her head. Then silence descended as we both tried to figure out what to do. "just let me drink." she whispered. "but..." I started. "no Nathan, just give me a beer or something." she pleaded, I slowly nodded and went to the minibar.

"here." I said and handed her it, she looked at me before she swigged and she hesitated. "if you want to do anything with me while im...you know...not scared." she started. "you mean if I want to take advantage of you while you're drunk? I wont." I said. "but if you want to...you can." she whispered. "I don't Ellen, not while you're scad or drunk." I said.

She kissed my nose, then chugged the beer. We all grabbed our bags and started into the airport. Once we got through security we got to our gate and I kept watching Ellen out of the corner of my eyes, because she hadn't freaked out once. She was being perfectly fine and honestly, that weirded me out more then her being scared.

"hey ellen, you alright?" I asked as I put my bag down and walked over to her. She nodded and smiled. "Im fine." she said. "good." I sighed and she frowned. "you're sad?" she asked. "no, no, not sad, it's just...weird to have you like this." I stated, she nodded. "it feels weird, I feel...like...empty." she admitted, I pulled her to me in a hug and rested my chin on her head.

"baby, you shouldn't have drank then." I said as I ran my hands through her hair. I would never do anything when she was drunk, but doing these little things, I'd do if I could get away with em, I just wanted to touch her. "ya but, then I would have been scared." she replied, I nodded.

"I know, I'd take you scared over drugged any day." I admitted she smiled and kissed my neck. Then again and she wrapped her arms around me and nibbled my shoulder. "love." I whispered, she giggled and started kissing up my neck. I pushed her back. "enough." I stated and she stopped. "sorry." she sighed.

"why do you always come on to me when you've been drinking?" I asked, she shrugged. "i think its because I just want to make you happy and the only way I think you'll be happy is if we fuck." she admitted. "oh baby." I sighed and hugged her. "we're not going to fuck, that wouldn't make me happy at all, I'd feel like I violated you." I started.

"maybe when you aren't so afraid we'll see what we can do, but we're never going to fuck, it sounds so bad, like I'm forcing you. In nicer terms, maybe we can make love when you're not scared anymore." I said and tilted her chin up so she looked at me. "ok?" I asked, she nodded and I smiled. "good girl." I said and kissed her quickly, then pulled back as soon as she tried to deepen the kiss.

I knew I wouldn't stop if she started something. "I'm going to go get some food." I said and pecked her on the lips again, then walked away. I sighed and shook my head. Why was I so dam attracted to her? Why did I have to work so hard to keep my control around her? It just doesn't make sense and I fucking hate it..well...I love it...I....I don't know, I'm just not sure anymore.

I got food and ate, when we boarded the plane we were for some reason in first class, that was a first. I put my seat back to sleep. someone tapped my hand and I woke up. I opened my eyes and saw Ellen looking at me and she looked terrified. "love?" I asked. "I think the beer wore off." she whispered.

"how long have I been out?" I asked as she glanced around nervously. "I don't know, can I stay with you?" she asked nervously. "absolutely." I said and pulled then blanket back. She dived into me and I put the blanket over both of us. She cuddled up with me and it was a tight squeeze because it was only one seat, but it wast that bad, she still needed to gain a lot of weight, she was way to skinny for her own good.

I put my arm around her waist and she whimpered. "please don't." she begged, I turned on my back and laced my hands together over my head and she cuddled up into my chest. She sighed and yawned, then closed her eyes and Snuggled into me. I watched her as her breathing evened out and she relaxed. I stared at her as she laid on me and I wondered if we'd ever we able to be together. Wondered if she'd ever get better.

I wondered that if she never got better, if I'd be able to leave her. Could I leave her even if she was still scared? Even if she stayed scared for the rest of her life, could I ever leave her for someone normal? No, never, I could never do that.' I decided as I lay watching her sleep peacefully on top of me, I knew that I loved her and that I would never leave her, no matter what.

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And lol, right now I'm in school, math class to be more specific and last night my charmander onesie came in the mail. So I'm wearing it right now, it's so fucking funny. It's got a hood and hands and a tail, it's fucking awesome. So I'm running around my school dressed as charmander and it's the fucking bomb, lol, maggies so embarrassed of me it's hilarious.

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