Chapter 18

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nathans pov

I just stared for a minute, then I saw her move. "Ellen!" I shouted as I ran into the clearing, she turned towards me backed up. She looked horrible, her eyes were puffy and red from crying, she looked like absolute shit. But I hadn't seen her in a week and I'd missed her, so even seeing her like this, sated that part of me that thought I would never see her again. "oh Ellen." I whispered and took another step towards her.

She shook her head and backed up. "don't come any closer!" she shouted, I stopped and just looked at her. "Ellen I'm so sorry I let them take you, but I'm here now, come on, come here." I said and took another step towards her. She held up her hand and I stopped dead. "stop." she growled and she had a big Swiss army knife In her hand.

"babe, I'm sorry." I said. "please, put the knife down love." I added, she shook her head. "I'm not going to put it down and let you hurt me again Jason." she said and I saw tears leak down her cheeks. "Jason? Love, it's me, Nathan." I said, she shook her head and took a step back. "nathans gone, he's...he's not coming back, but you, you don't get to hurt me anymore." she sobbed.

"no, no, baby, I know that I let your parents take you, but I came back for you, I'm sorry Ellen, but please, put the knife down." I said, she shook her head. "why? Why would I? So you can hurt me again? Hit me again? Well fuck you Jason, not again." she said and put the knife out and looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"not anymore, now no one can hurt me." she cried, then she smiled and chuckled. "for once I'm just not scared, cause I'll be gone, nothing can ever hurt me again." she said, I walked across the clearing towards her and she pointed the knife at me. "don't get any closer Jason, don't come any closer!" she screamed.

"Ellen, it's me, Nathan, please, put the knife down and don't hurt Me." I begged, trying to reason with her. "no." she said. "Ellen, please, it's me Nathan, I'm Nathan, don't you remember? I brought you shopping and we bought that funny mushroom shirt, I'm socially awkward, I say nishley to make you laugh, I kissed you, don't you remember me?" I asked, she shook her head as tears fell out of her eyes.

"don't lie to me Jason! Nathans gone and he's not coming back!" she shouted, then she brought the knife down on her wrist. "Ellen!" I shouted and I ran over to her. "no get away from me Jason!" she shouted and cut herself again. "Ellen stop it!" I shouted as I reached her, she just cut herself again and I slapped the knife away.

I grabbed her and she screamed. "no Jason get off me!" she shouted and closed her eyes. "it'll be over soon, it'll be over soon, then you can't get me." she sobbed. "oh Ellen." I said and pushed her over so she sat down on the log. I grabbed her hands and pulled them towards me. "Jason stop it, please, I'm begging you, not again." she sobbed, I looked at the deep red cuts on her wrist and pulled my shirt off.

I pressed it against her bloody skin and looked up at her. Her eyes were tightly clamped shut and she was shaking. "oh baby, baby." I whispered and wiped the tears off her face. I put pressure on her wrist and looked up at her. She was still rocking back and forth slightly and crying. Her eyes were closed and she was crying.

She kept muttering. 'please Jason, not again' over and over under her breath. "Ellen, I need you to come back, please, Ellen!" I shouted, but she didn't stop muttering and shaking. I picked her up and started walking quickly back towards the house.

When I got there I walked through the door. "Ellen!" shouted jay and they all ran over. "Ellen are you ok?" asked Michael, I looked a him. "THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!!!! if you take one more fucking set towards me I will stab you." I shouted and walked through the house and onto our bus.

I sat on the couch and put Ellen in my lap. "Ellen, Ellen, please love, I need you to come back." I begged, but she didn't. The didn't pay attention to anything as I held Ellen and cried. "mate, come on." said siva, I didn't reply. "nathan, we're at the hospital, we need to take Ellen." started jay. "no you can't take her!" I shouted. "not again." I whispered.

"Nathan, she needs to get to the hospital now." said Tom. "no, I can't let her go again." I whispered. "then take her in, but we have to go now." said max, I stood up and walked out the bus and towards the hospital entrance. I guess I'd got lost in holding Ellen and didn't know where I was.

I walked into the hospital and a nurse ran over. "what happened?" she asked as she felt Ellens pulse. "she cut her wrists." I said. "here let me have her." said a doctor "no! You can't take her." I growled. "sir I ne..." started the doctor. "no, I'll carry her." I growled,he looked at me and motioned for me to follow.

I walked down the hall with her and went into a room. "you have to leave her now." Said the nurse as i put her down on the bed. "no." I said "sir you need to l..." he started. "no, I'm not leaving her again!" I shouted, a security guard pushed me out of the room and I went out swinging and got shoved into the hallway.

"hey!" I shouted as the door got slammed shut. I slammed it with my fist but they wouldn't open it. I leaned my forehead against it and cried. "mate, come on." said jay and he put his hand around my shoulder and sat me down in the chair next to him.

I cried and lost track of time because I fell asleep. When I woke up I jumped out of my seat and saw Ellens door was open. I ran in. "Ellen!" I shouted, and stopped by the bed. "Ellen?" I asked, nothing. "Ellen?" I asked and kept looking, nothing, she was gone.

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