Bestfriends {Zaylena} #Wattys2016

*Chapter 22*

Zayn's POV

- 2 months later -

Okay, so it's been two months since I've been with Perrie and yeah she's amazing and lively but I really made the biggest mistake of my life and I can't change it because the girl I want has every guy literally chasing after her. Like on TMZ they spotted Selena leaving the bar with some guy like a week ago and do you know how heart breaking that is to see the most perfect girl of your life in the arms of another man? Because if you don't well your lucky because it sucks so much. Like literally sucks and every time I try to call her it always goes to voicemail.

"Hey babe" her voice shook the shit out of me. I turn around and see Perrie smiling widely and sits down next to me.

"Hi" I kiss her forehead but I didn't want her around because then she'll ask questions and right now I want to think about Selena.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked and I rolled my eyes. Great now she wants to talk about something, I just knew it.

"Uh, family..." I lie but she doesn't seem to notice since I'm never really showing much emotion towards her anymore.

"Well speaking of family...do you think we'll ever start one?" She asked and I stared at her confusingly. The only baby mama I would want is Selena.

"Uh, I'm not really cut out to be a dad" I say hastily.

"Oh come one Zayn you'll be a great dad" she squealed and smiled. I don't know why she's so hype we haven't had sex ever since we started dating again.

"No Perrie I don't want a child period!" I snapped and got up from off the chair and walked outside.

I heard her footsteps behind me and I let out a frustrating sigh, "Did I do something wrong?" She asked sadly.

I shook my head. "No Perrie I did" I say before walking towards my car getting inside and driving off to god knows where.

I want her. I need her. She's like a drug and I'm truly addicted. All I can think about is those chocolate brown eyes that would engulf me into a whole another world. I miss her smile...the one that brighten up everyone's mood. I miss her lips, so soft, pink, plump, small, adorable...those cheeks that you can kiss forever and ever and now I can't do that because I'm the biggest dick in the world. I miss her small frame, her sexy curves, her small yet fat ass, her perfect sized breast. The way her hand fit in mine when we would hold them. When she laughs, that alone just makes my day because I know at that time she's happy. I really need her! I really want her! But sadly I can't have her...Why am I so stupid I thought I loved Perrie but her love is a come and go...Selena is a forever love and I lost her. Yeah, she put up with my bullshit for everything that happened but I always thought we were just meant to be friends. I try to be happy with Perrie but Selena is the only girl who can make me show real emotion and I lost her...why am I so stupid. Maybe I should just kill myself because I don't think I'll be wanted or missed at the moment. My feelings for Perrie faded but the ones for Selena grew stronger. Give me a sign and tell me Selena is the one for me. Please just give me one.

As I kept driving I kept thinking about her and every time I thought about it my hand gripped the the wheel and I pressed down on the gas pedal making the adrenalin in my body pumped up.

She'll never forgive you. My thoughts told me but I tried to block it out but it wasn't going away. She's better without you Zayn your a time bomb ready to go off. I kept saying hurtful things and felt myself going crazy.

"I need to see her" I cry out. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the salty tear touch my lips.

"Please, I just need Selena" I stop at the hill and get out of the car an sit on the edge of the hill that's outside of town and just stare at the scenery lonesome. I wish I could cuddle up with her. I wouldn't mind her soft skin against mines, please just give me a sign that me and Selena are meant for each other.