forty four.

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Waking up on my birthday was pleasant. Even more so as it was a Saturday which meant no classes. I pushed the sheets of James bed off of me and grabbed a t-shirt from his large collection and slipped it on.

After brushing my hair and putting on my glasses i walked down into the gryffindor common room. "happy birthday remus!"

"Happy birthday y/n." he said smiling. i walked over to the couches and sat on James's lap and gave him a hug.

"Happy birthday gorgeous." He whispered then kissed me on the forehead.

Remus coughed and i turned to him and he passed me a letter. 'to remus and y/n lupin' Smiling i tote it open and pulled the other out.

"Dear Remus and Y/N, i believe this isn't urh the most ideal news to receive on your birthday but your mother has pa-passed." I mumbled. I dropped the letter into my lap and closed my eyes tightly.

"james keep reading it."

"Please read the daily proffet for more information. I have organisation something regarding the funeral with Dumbledore. Sincerely your father i love you two endlessly." After hearing that sentence i lunged for the magazine that was sat on the coffee table in front of us and scanned the pages.

"Muggle born witches are being attacked and killed all over, watch out. First attack was two days ago. Hope Lupin." I felt empty.

Truly empty as if my heart had just broken into a million pieces and that i didn't know which one to chose. Remus let the first sob come out and i simply buried my face into James chest.

He shook me back and forth slowly rubbing my back gently as he held me. I never got to tell her. Now I never will. Never be able to pick out a dress with her. Or never will be able to dance with her on my wedding day.

Never ever will get to hold her again. Never see her or hear her again. Never. The first year ran down my cheeks as i coughed and chuckled a bit. Pulling away from james's chest i mumbled "sorry about your shirt."

"There should be nothing sorry about take your time love." he whispered and i smiled before another ugly cry escaped my lips.

"Remus and Y/N Lupin. Office please." Professor Mcgonagall shouted and her voice rang through the gryffindor common room.

Pulling myself up Remus and i engulfed each other in a hug before walking up into the Professors office. "Oh Professor Dumbledore you are here to."

"So we have arranged the train for tonight at 7pm..."

"I love you Jamie." I said as i gave James the biggest hug imaginable.

"I'll see you in three days." He responded then placed a kiss on my lips.

I turned and gave Sirius a quick hug before Remus and I hurried to board the train. Whilst getting on the train we sat in the carriage that we always do but this time in complete silence.

The next morning was when we had arrived back in London and we were quick to get off the train and onto the station. Our father requested for us to meet him at home which wasn't a long walk.

"I feel so numb." Remus mumbled and i slightly nodded.

Our home was surrounded by many cars and we could hear the chatter from outside. Nudging Remus we both put our wands away before knocking on the door. "Remus, Y/N. It's good your boarding school allowed you to come home regarding. You know."

"It's good to see your Grandpapa." I said and he winked. He allowed us to enter and we placed our belongings in the small closet beside the door.

"Linsey! The twins are here!"

"Hello you two, mind if i go see uncle John before we talk." They nodded and we rushed into the kitchen where our father was sitting. Along with mums sister, brothers and their children (our cousins).

As he spotted us he got up from his chair and pulled both of us into a hug. "It's starting now, this is only the beginning." He whispered.

Only the beginning.

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