feelings ♡ sope fanfiction

chapter 14 : going back

A/n: read in a black and white setting it really makes this reading experience better ;)

Y o o n g i ' s f l a s h b a c k

-7 t h g r a d e-

As I was going to class I felt a tight grip around my hand waking me up from my pool of thoughts. I remembered I turned around and I saw that it was hoseok.
"Hoseok? What are you doing?"
I remember hoseok just looked at me with eyes filled with sorrow but I didn't know why. He then started leading me to some where mysterious. I wondered where he was taking me.
Should I tell him?
"Hoseok where are we going?...are you okay?"
"Yoongi just trust me okay? don't worry about a thing..."
How could I not worry about a thing? I was worried about him ,about where he was taking me ,about a lot of things... and yet telling me not to worry?

Soon hoseok stopped at a door down the hall and looked both ways to see if anyone was coming or if anyone was following us.

"Coast clear?"
"Yeah-"
Soon he pulled me inside ,a what seemed to be a dark closet. I then felt hoseok's soft hand leave mine and saw darkness closing in on us as he closed the closet door.
"H-hoseok?"
"Hehe...don't worry..."
I then saw hoseok's bright sunshine smile as he turned the light on inside the closet.
[So cute...wait...stop it right now yoongi. You don't like boys okay? Remember what your parents said...]
I then got angry at myself and didn't mean to sound mad.
"So why are we here huh?"
"Oh..I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you-"
"Hoseok I'm sorry...I just...its not you..."
"Its fine...its just I needed to tell you something in secret without the whole school knowing so I thought why not come here?"
"In the janitor's closet?"
"Where else do I hide?"
I remember hoseok used to hide a lot in the janitor's closet just to be alone or just in general escape from it all....but that stopped when I came to his side....

Hoseok then reached for my hand, he then placed my hand next to his heart
[What are these feelings? Why is he making me nervous just by doing this? Why is it suddenly hot in here?]
Soon I felt myself uncontrollably sweating and blushing for no absolute reason.
"Yoongi...you may not b-be m-my friend a-anymore..."
soon hoseok started tearing up right before my eyes making me feel heartbroken because he then let out his fountain of tears go.
"Hoseok? Hoseok tell me. Tell me what you were going to say. I don't care what you have to say I still love you no matter what..."
"I-It's j-just....Yoongi...I-I'm....I'm Bisexual....I mean it's f-fine if you d-don't want to b-be friends anymore...I can see why..."
I was surprised at the fact that hoseok also liked boys but also because he thought I was going to leave him just because he likes boys....
"Of course I still love you...you idiot!"
I then hugged hoseok as tight as I could and then felt him hugging me back with all his love.
"I love you even if you're bisexual..."
I then felt his silent shaking and the strong grip on my shirt, indicating he was crying again.
"Hoseok? Hoseok. What's wrong? Tell me please....I hate when you're sad..."
"Y-yoongi i-its just how will I-I tell t-them?"
"Your parents?"
Hoseok then nodded and proceeded to let go of me and then sat against the wall he then covered his eyes and put his head down.
"Well...Just say...parents I'm gay- or I mean bisexual and if they don't support you well....who gives a shit! Because hoseok...I'm always here for you I don't care how bad things get I'm here..."
Finally hoseok looked up at me and then hugged me again knowing that he had my support.
"You are the best thing or friend I could ever have had in my life..."
"Hoseok..."
I then pulled away from hoseok and got ready for what I was about to say.
"Hoseok...I'm pansexual...."
Hoseok then looked at me with shinning chocolate eyes and hugged me tight.
"Really?! Omg! Really yoongi?! Omg I DON'T CARE! I WILL LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU IN EVERYTHING!!!!"
"Hehe...you really are the literal sun...who could live without you?"
"Hehe...I guess...but wait who's your...."
when those words floated out of his mouth I realized that those feelings I had were for hoseok...J realized he was my crush....
"Well...my crush is....it's...namjoon...yeah....kim namjoon to be exact...."
"Really? Well I personally used to have a crush on him...I mean I can see why...He's really cute and smart hehe..."
In order to hide the fact I had a crush on hoseok I decided to act embarrassed and all head over heals for the guy but in reality I never really crushed on him...
"S-shut up okay? don't you even dare tell Jin okay?..."
"Pff okay..."
"By the way hoseok who's YOUR crush eh?"
"Well...it's jisung..."
"That girl? Oof...good luck hoseok I've heard she's the prettiest and the most popular...."
I kinda wished he crushed on me...but hey I could only keep on dreaming for a boy like me....
"yeah..."
"But hey you're a beautiful, nice, adorable sunshine no one can't resist!"
Yeah, and he gave me wings of Icarus because I think I flew too close to him...
"Hehe I bet you'll be with namjoon in no time I mean look at you! You're the best person anyone can meet!"

~

Turned out he did get the girl after a while...and by that time he came out to his parents, lucky him he got the support a child needs...too bad they broke up entering high school...

I've lied to him about my feelings and hope that he never noticed because he really shouldn't care about a person like me....He's not mine but I can admire him from a distance....

I wonder if I truly love

H i m

My parents on the other hand didn't find out about me being pansexual until that senior year....

But I have one question in my head....does he still consider me as a friend? Do I still mean something to him?