Pretty Boy (boyxboy)

Chapter Nine

SUNDAY

The knocking on my door makes me jerk in my sleep.
I groan loudly and cover my head with the pillow, praying that whoever it is will have mercy and leave me alone for a few more hours.

Unfortunately, my prayer goes unanswered, and there are three more knocks on the door.

I grumpily get up, rubbing my eyes, and pad over to the door.
I pull it open, expecting to see Jamie, but Dr. Olsen stands there instead.

"Good morning Matthew. Sorry to wake you, but it's time for breakfast."

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.
"Okay. I'm coming."

He nods and leaves me to get dressed.

Not bothering to match anything, I throw on a pair of ripped jeans and a black t shirt.

I sleepily wander into the cafe, not even bothering to get a plate, and sitting down across from Jamie at our table.

"Hey Matty." She greets me.

Her words are kind yet hesitant. I can't help but wonder if Nate told her what happened last night.

I give her a lazy smile.
"Hey JJ."

She clears her throat and pushes her barely touched plate toward me.
"Here. Eat some of mine. I don't want any more."

I want to vomit at the smell of the eggs and bacon in front of me but force myself to take a few bites of a bacon strip anyway.

I feel Jamie's eyes on me.
"What?" I ask her.

She bites her lip.
"I really wanna ask what the hell happened last night but I'm trying to be better at minding my own business."

I laugh.
"You can ask. I figured Nate would've told you."

She shrugs.
"I asked before he left last night but he said you should be the one to tell me."

"Oh."

She rests her elbows on top of the table and places her head in her hands.
"Okay. I'm listening."

I playfully roll my eyes and sigh.
"Nate and I started talking last night after you fell asleep. He asked about Eva and then I asked about your dad."

Her features darken at the mention of her father but she nods anyway, listening intently.

"It got a little intense, I guess. One thing lead to another and...." I trail off.

"And...." she urges me to continue, grinning wildly.

"We almost kissed."

She gives me a wide grin and then frowns.
"Wait. Why almost?"

I laugh.
"Well because you woke up for one."

She rolls her eyes.
"Oh please."
"Okay so then what happened when you two ran off?"

I rub my hand over my face in frustration.
"I guess when I realized what almost happened, I freaked out."

She tilts her head.
"Why?"

"I'm supposed to be straight, Jamie. I can't be gay."

My voice breaks and her face softens. She walks around the table and sits down in the chair beside me.
"Listen to me."

I already feel my eyes beginning to glaze over I force myself not to cry.
I cry too damn much.

"You aren't 'supposed' to be anything. If you're straight, then fine, that's cool. But if you're gay then that's fucking fine too. Don't let anyone tell you who you're supposed to be. You'll live a miserable life that way."

I give her a sad smile.
"I know but I'm just so confused. I've never been in a relationship, much less kissed anyone.  I don't know what I am. Not to mention that my mom would probably hate me if she knew."

She frowns.
"Even if she does, you never know. She might come around eventually. I'd still love you."

I choke on a laugh.
"Thanks JJ."

"Now let's back up a second. You've really never kissed anyone?"

My cheeks heat up in embarrassment and I shake my head.

"Well...."

"Oh god. What?" I laugh.

"What if I kiss you?"

My eyes nearly explode out of my head.
"What??"

"How can you know how you feel or what gender you like if you've never had anything to compare to?"

Her words make sense but the idea of kissing Jamie feels weird. Not only is she like a sister to me now, but I almost kissed her brother less than 15 hours ago.

"I don't know. Wouldn't that be weird?"

She shrugs.
"Not unless you make it weird. I won't make you, but if you wanna try and see then I'll do it."

I pause. Maybe it would help me figure out how I feel. It's worth a shot.

I nod.
"Okay."

She grins and pulls me to face her.
"Don't be nervous." She giggles.

I roll my eyes and try not to freak out when her hands loop themselves around the back of my neck and she pulls me toward her.

Her lips finally press themselves against mine and I freeze, not having a clue on what to do now.
The feeling is odd but not horrible. I follow her lead as best as I can and attempt to move my lips along with hers.

Her lips are soft and warm but I don't think I necessarily 'feel' anything.

She pulls away and drops her hands back down to her lap.
"Yup. You're gay."

I laugh loudly and she smiles at me.
"No but seriously, what do you think?"

I shrug.
"It was alright. But I don't think I felt sparks or any of that shit." I joke.

She gives me a grin.
"I think you need to talk to Nate."