Chapter Forty Five

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SUNDAY


My heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest as my feet take me closer and closer to the green apartment door. I can only hope that Jamie or Ana answer the door instead of he who shall not be named. I haven't seen him in close to a week. Seeing him now wouldn't do me any good, especially since I'll be leaving the state in less than nine hours. 

My shaky fist knocks lightly on the door twice and I bite the fingernails of my other hand as I wait for someone to answer. I hear faint voices from behind the wood, but my mind is so clouded with nerves that I can't figure out who they belong to right now. 

Footsteps get closer and closer to the door and I hear the security bolt being unlatched and the door slowly begins to open wider.

The minute his perfect face comes into my view, I regret even coming and want nothing more than to run away and hide under the nearest rock. His pink lips part in surprise and he drops his hands to his sides. 

"Hi." 

I swallow and look down at my shoes.
"Is, um, Jamie here?" I mumble. 

"Oh. Yeah, she's in her room." He tells me, backing up farther into the apartment and ushering me inside. 

"Thanks." I tell him, quickly making my way down the hall to Jamie's room as he shuts the door behind me. 

"JJ. It's Matt, can I come in?" I yell through the closed door, knocking on it lightly. 

"Yeah, come on." She yells back.

I turn the knob hurriedly, and let myself inside, not bothering to close the door back all the way. 

She sits in her bedroom floor, paints and brushes scattered across the room, along with a large canvas placed in front of her. She gives me a bright smile as I sit down across from her. 

"Hey Matty." 

"Hey JJ. What are you painting?" 

"It's hard to explain..." She laughs, "Kind of like a meadow type thing? With a bunch of flowers." 

I laugh.
"What is it with you and flowers?"

"They just look happy. Everybody could use a little bit of happiness in their life." She tells me, blotting more yellows and greens onto her canvas. 

"Yeah, I guess that's true." I shrug. 

She moves her brown eyes up to meet my face and gives me a look before placing her wet brushes into a small plastic cup beside her. 
"Okay, what's up?"

I laugh.
"It's scary how well you know me, sometimes." 

"Call it an instinct." She shrugs. "Now, what's going on? Is it your dad?"

I sigh and give her a nod. 

"Have you decided?" 

I nod again, and she gives me a sad smile.
"You're going aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm going." 

"And you came to say goodbye." 

I breathe out a slow breath and cast my eyes down to my raw fingernails.
"Yeah, I did."

I feel her stand from her spot on the floor and she sits back down beside me, pulling me to her tightly. 
"I'm happy for you." She whispers sadly. 

I hear her sniff and I choke lightly as I try to stop myself from breaking down and sobbing into her arms. 
"I'm gonna miss you." 

"I'm gonna miss you too." 

"He's picking me up at 7. We'll be on the plane by 9 tonight." 

She lets go of me and buries her face into her hands, breathing deeply, before looking back up at me with a red face and teary eyes.
"I would say I'd see you off at the airport, but I already know there's no way I'd be able to handle it. I'd lose my composure the second you start walking toward the gate." She laughs.

I nod and wipe my eyes with the backs of my hands. 
"I don't think I'd be able to handle it either."

She sighs.
"Well how much time do we have before you need to leave?"

I click my phone on and look at the bright numbers on the screen. 
"We've got a few hours."

She smiles.
"Well then for the next couple hours, you're mine, and we're not gonna think about the sad shit."

"Sounds like a plan."


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