Pretty Boy (boyxboy)

Chapter Thirty Eight

I have yet to move from my spot on top of Nate. His arms have coiled themselves around my small frame and my head rests on his chest. 

"My dad is coming." I tell him, absent mindlessly drawing shapes on his arm. 

"When?"

"Shouldn't be too long. I called him earlier to apologize for punching him and he practically begged me to let him come over and talk."

I hear him snort.
"Yeah you punched the shit out of him. I'm surprised his nose isn't broken." 
"Are you gonna be okay talking to him without your mom here?" He asks, running his fingertips up and down my bare back, making me shiver. 

"I was actually going to ask...." I trail off, peeking my head up to look at him, "Would you stay with me? You don't have to be out there, you can stay in here if you want, but I don't wanna be alone with him." I mumble. 

"You should know me well enough by now to know that I'll do whatever you ask me." He grins. 

I giggle and kiss his nose. 
"Thank you, love."

"When did you start using pet names with me?" He smirks. 

"Would you prefer me to stop?"

"I like it. It's cute when you do it."  

I grin at him and lean up to kiss him.
I jump at the sound of the door bell ringing throughout the house, bumping my forehead against Nate's nose. 

I laugh as he reaches up to hold his nose, groaning. 

"Jesus, what do you have against noses all of a sudden?" 

"Sorry." I giggle, kissing his cheek, before sliding off of him and grabbing an old t shirt from the closet to slip over my bare chest. 

The doorbell rings again and I huff, leaving Nate in my room as I rush to get the door. 

"Hey." I mumble, pulling the door open to let him inside. 

He looks the same as he did a few days ago, scruffy beard, messy hair, and all. He gives me a nervous, tight-lipped smile as he walks inside, his eyes wandering around the small living room. 

I close the door behind him and scratch at the side of my head. I don't know why I'm so nervous all of a sudden. Maybe it's because I actually do feel guilty for saying all of the things I did the last time we saw each other, or maybe it's the fact that we're no longer in the hospital where he can be escorted out if things go south. He's in my house now. The only thing comforting me is the fact that Nate is right down the hall and I know for a fact that he'll be here in seconds if I call him. 

I clear my throat and motion for him to sit down on the couch. He nods and takes a seat awkwardly on the edge of the cushion, rubbing his hands down his knees in nervousness. I place myself as far away from him as I can on the couch and cross my legs underneath me. 

"You wanted to talk. Let's just get it over with." I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest as I lean back into the soft cushion. 

I hear him clear his throat and fold his hands together. 
"I just think you deserve an explanation for why I did everything that I did." 

I nod.
"Yeah I do."

I watch him from the corner of my eye as he fidgets with his hands and his knee bounces up and down. 
"After Eva...." He trails off and clears his throat again. 
"Your mom shut herself down. She never admitted it to me, but I always felt like the blamed me for what happened. It was me who gave her the belt to start with, and if I hadn't, maybe she would still be here."

I swallow the lump that forms in my throat at the mention of my sister.
"You can't blame yourself for something like this. If she hadn't have gotten the belt from you, she would've just found another way to do it." 

He doesn't respond, keeping his eyes focused down to his shoes. 
"If we weren't avoiding each other, we were fighting, about anything and everything. It got to the point where we could barely be in the same room with each other without having some big blow out. So, I filed for divorce." 

I stay quiet. 

"I know you think I abandoned you. Which, I'll be honest, isn't far from the truth." 

I scoff.
"Good to know."

"Please, just let me finish." He begs, looking up at me with a sad frown. 

I roll my eyes but nod anyways. 

He turns his eyes away from me before speaks again. 
"I was really depressed for a long time. Even more so after the divorce finalized. It was the first time that I really understood how little I had left. The reason that I didn't fight for custody or stay close by, was because I was planning on committing suicide." 

I can physically feel my heart plummet to my stomach. My mind travels back, filling my head with all of the things I said to him at the hospital, and immediately overwhelming me with guilt. I want to say something, anything, but I can't. My mouth feels glued shut. 

"I decided that the easiest way to do it, would be to cut ties with everyone and get out of the state. I thought that if I just left, it would make it easier on everyone once somebody found my body."

I lick my lips, biting the inside of my cheek to try and hold back my tears. 
"What made you change your mind?" I ask him, my voice shaking. 

He shrugs.
"I had to come to terms with the fact that despite having lost my daughter and my wife, I still had a child."

"Well then why didn't you come back?" 

"It had already been almost a year that I had been gone by then. Your mother sent me texts about how you were doing every few days, and she made it out like you were fine. I didn't want to come back in and ruin everything. If I had known that you were sick, then I would've come back sooner." 

I don't respond. 

"I'd really like to get to know you again." He tells me. 

"I need to think about all this." 

He nods, pushing himself off of the couch. 
"You have my number. Just let me know." 

"Wait!" I call, standing from my place on the couch. 
"There's somebody I want you to meet." 

He raises his eyebrows.

"Nate!!" I yell down the hall. 

Just like I knew he would, he pokes his head through the doorway and gives me a look as I wave at him to come out here. 

He gives my dad a tight smile, stuffing his hands in his front pockets. 
"This is Nate." I introduce. 
"My boyfriend." 

Both pairs of eyes jerk to me in surprise. The small grin on Nate's face does not go unnoticed. 

I watch as my dad clears his throat and nods, holding his hand out.
"Nice to meet you." 

Nate nods curtly, shaking his hand.
"Likewise."

"I need to get going." 

I nod and follow him as he lets himself out of the house, shutting the door behind him. 

Nate's arms wrap themselves around my waist from behind, kissing at the spot behind my ear. 
"You good?"

I nod, leaning back on him.
"I'm good."