Diary Of My Life 💋👏

Why loving someone so much causes a Scar !

Dear diary,

I never thought thinking about someone so much will makes you get wild and crazy about never think about love again. I was so stupid being with someone who never find a time to just talk with me or even call me to make sure if I'm okay or nah ?. Every word he says to me was a lie the ways he told me lets gets married and have our life future together was just a lie .I thoughts when he told me when he see me he will ran hugging me feeling my warm body .But now I feel dump because I dated someone who never find a time to make sure if my heart was okay /broken/....But deep inside my heart is tearing apart into 5 piece I can't gather to held them together I feel numb because I dated many boys each of them I told you their story still nobody gives me the time of where to find happiness ..

However, All I want is someone who shows me real love that's based on happiness, smile, butterflies', stars, galaxy-space and mostly fairy lights because once you see fairy lights when he ask you out that's full of red roses on the way you see him from a far miles smiling at you trust me he is the one who will give you everything that's you desire. But sometimes when you admit and express your feeling for someone all your love was fully intention for him trust me everything you loved everything you tried towards him you will not be able to love the same way you loves him ...

However, I tried many time to date someone who will be valuable to me and to my heart but pages will always be the one who flips us easily like you been holding for something so tight but you figure out that you are in room where you head is down and your legs is up is where there no exist to leave from such a harsh situation and overthinking thoughts.. My ambition is to search for someone who loves me so badly someone who stays up all night to check for me someone who never let my tears slip down on my eyes ,someone who shows me care and respect someone who knows everything about me but still by my side someone who never hates me if he listen about my past .But truth is I was lying to myself of loving that person loving him for no reason if he can't even call me when he has no phone then why you dates me in the first you should have told me that's let's give us some space but not a space the exceed more than 6 days or half months never speak to me or even talk with me and all my heart is been so worried and thinking if you been okay or you are dating someone behind my back because after the months you gone my hearts can't feel well after all .

The limits between us is that I miss you every day I told you once you can't catch up with me at least call me in anything just to make sure if you are okay but that's doesn't mean to be gone until I notice that you never wanted to talk with me but you want to walk away They say if he couldn't have time to talk with you that's means he doesn't love you because in my fact experience that's not love that's Fake Love!

Ugh sight, Everything I tried for them (boys i dated) didn't work even my love didn't work my heart didn't work I feel dead I feel that's I'm cold person everything will hurt me  I will not be bothering to care about him .I will try to move on i know its hurts but i will try to let go of him because its inst worth to wait for something will never happened

Every time i need you I figure out you aren't with me i feel so in pain where i cant even tell you how does it feel but that trigger pain something will never  go away

can you hear me Calling! Calling! I'm dieing here worried about you Can you hear me ??

Show me that's you mean it show me that you love me !

Ive been waited waited but you waits me for something that's makes me realize that my pain is killing me  you lets me addicted for my pain *cry*

h, oh, oh when did you fall out of love?

out of loveoh, oh, oh when did you fall out of lovewith me?

I can't float in an oceanthat's already been drainedI won't cry at your feet now I know my tears will fall in vain

:(

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