Diary Of My Life 💋👏

The Scars that's Can't Be Heal!

Dear diary,
                  Every-morning I don't sleep well because I have been through different things and the different situation in my life even the one I love the most I can't trust them the one who cares about me the most becomes nothing to me, They changed after everything I did sometimes I wish I add something new in my book something that makes me happy and forget that's I have fake friends, I wish I return back to times I delete everything happened to me which is worst and which is good. I wish I dated someone who knows I'm beautiful without makeup who doesn't care about the way I look or the way I dress. I wish I have someone who loves me deeply from his heart because he knows that's I'm valued to him. Every time I look at the sunset I wish I can tell Allah that's I had enough on the things you test me in this life but in the same times, I'm thankful for him for everything he shows me when I was too blind to see the real faces of them when the masks fall off from the fake personality they have.

  Maybe I have an anxiety attack that can cause pain in my chest but that's doesn't mean I should let everything eat me inside my head. I can't control myself I can't go to sleep without crying I can't overthink for a single day because everything inside me eats me alive. They say real friends they don't care about anything but they do anything to please you ❤️ and make you smile again. But fake they harm you and they listen to what they heard about you they don't care if it's good or bad they do it because they think I'm nothing but a toy and whore to them.

  Who am I?, I'm a girl who has been through a lot in her life 😭 she is the girl who did a lot of mistakes but they expose her, I'm a girl who at school they bully her and call her bitch, whore.. Etc. I'm a girl who cries every day before sleeps she is the girl who wakes up from her dreams feeling her heartbeat will drop out from her chest. She is the girl who faces big fears try to forget about it. She is the girl who stops eating for a couple of days because she noticed that's boys are nothing but cheaters. She is the girl who is scared to fall in love again.

Mostly, she hates when they convince her with the sweet words love, and they all fucking leave from that's a door. And pretending that's nothing happened. She has an ambivalent feeling that lets her mind go wild and crazy. I don't know why every time I tried to love someone so truly they leave me all alone. Like I'm supposed to handle every shit on my own. Everything I wrote is where my heart can't speak and my tears are the reason why I'm in pain. It's where times rashes me into the darkness where there is nobody to guide me. I wish someone understands me and knows what I have been through.

                             Raneem
                             - Don't fall in love with one who breaks your heart before because who knows he might do it again-

                                 Stay Tune for more information about my diary much love 😍

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