After I got home two days ago, I've been contemplating on calling Gelo's phone but decided against it.
I've gone to the point of crying myself to sleep which I never thought would happen in my lifetime.
Me.....crying over a guy.
After a whole day and a half of him ignoring me I turned my phone off and lock myself in my room. Not that anyone came to check on me.
So here I am sprawled across my bed in a joggers, bra and a pair of mismatched socks.
"Should I call first? I can't decide.....I want to but a bitch got pride" hmm now I'm all up in my feelings.
I'm really missing Gelo but I know he won't speak to me right now and I have myself to blame for that.
Should I call first? I can't decide
I want to but a bitch got pride
The switching up shit is what I can't fuck with
I'm feeling you hard to get in touch with.
I could call cece to ask her if she has seen him but she is also mad at me so that's a no-no.
"I'm feeling you, I'm feeling you, I'm feeling you......ugh!" I never imagined myself being in this situation because I always thought that i'd never be this caught up with a man but look how that turned out.
"And Gelo, you ain't hit me up in a while..
Nigga you actin like you don't know what number to dial....you quit then that's it I'ma throw in the towel cuz a nigga only gon do what you allow" I lay flat on my back in bed belting out the lyrics to cardi and khelani's song, trying to get my feelings into words...isn't really helping but...
Who knew missing a nigga could have you like this? I didn't.
I took a minute to catch my breathe as I feel my throat tightening with each words that left my mouth.
I lay back on my pillow and saw my phone just....there like it's looking at me....waiting for me to pick it up and turn it on.
Don't do it zandra.
Look away zandra.
He didn't call so just turn away.
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
40 minutes later.
You know what? Fuck it.
I dive towards the phone anxiously and turned it on and after a minute I was looking at my lock screen.
The phone didn't show any notification which made me throw it angrily back on the bed but quickly picked it up back as it constantly started to go off.
What the hell is this?
I've never heard my phone going off like this.
Maybe it's malfunctioning.
Hmmm.
I unlock the phone quickly and tried to read the notifications but I couldn't cause they just kept coming in.
What the fuck? Am I in some kind of trouble?
Gosh! What did I do?
I drop the phone and placed my hands on top of my head trying to think of what I could have done wrong but came up blank.
I jump to my feet and started pacing, trying to ease the anxiousness. I look back towards the phone and noticed it stopped going off.
Did it crash? I hope not cause It's still kinda new.
