Something Stupid

No, Fuck You

Narrator's POV

"Do you have Stephen's phone number?" Tony asked Pepper.

"It the same as it's always been." Pepper said.

"It's not letting me call him." Tony said.

"You've probably been blocked." Natasha said. "It works just fine for me." She said.

"I think he's over reacting a little." Tony said. "He should be glad that I'm back."

"Tony. You pretended to be dead for two years." Natasha said. "He's gonna need some time."

"Maybe I should go pay him a visit." Tony said.

"Yeah. That's a bad idea, and trust me; you've had lots of bad ideas, but I think this is the worse one yet." Pepper said.

"She's right." Natasha pointed at Pepper.

"It'll just be quick. Bring him some strawberries, you know?" Tony said, fixing his hair at the mirror by the door. He grabbed his keys. "I'll tell you how that goes. Bye." He left.

"Should we call the mortuary?" Natasha asked.

"No, if we mark his grave; Stephen will just go vandalize it." Pepper sighed.

///0///0

"Stephen~" Tony knocked on the sanctum's door, holding a box of strawberries.

There was no response.

"Stephen, it's me. Tony." Tony said. "Come on, open up. I know you're in there." Tony shook his head and sighed. He began to pick at the door, only to get pushed back from the Sanctum. He fell on the sidewalk, the strawberries flew everywhere. Tony looked back up at the building. "Oh, I see how it is." He said. "A Tony repellent spell, huh? Well, it's not gonna stop me." He dusted himself off. "I picked up a few things from when you tried to teach me magic. Hm!" He pushed his astral form from his physical form. "Here comes ghost Tony." He said, flying into the Sanctum.

The Sanctum was very quiet as Tony looked around.

"Stephen." He said. "Stephen." He looked around. "Damn, it's quiet in here." He said.

It wasn't long before he heard music playing somewhere around the Sanctum.

"Stephen?" He looked around, heading upstairs.

He went into Stephen's room.

There was no one in there, but the door to the bathroom was closed.

Tony slowly approached. "I should knock fist." He said to himself. He tried knocking, but he went right through. "Oh, right. I'm a ghost."

Stephen was brushing his teeth with the radio on.

"Of course he's gonna brush his teeth before he eats." Tony rolled his eyes. "I should step out of the astral dimension and surprise him." He said. "That's a good idea. Why thank you me." He smiled at himself. He made a small rip in the astral dimension, and came through. "Steph-"

"AH!" Stephen turned around and threw a vase at him.

The vase went right through and hit the wall.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Tony said.

"What are you doing here?!" Stephen asked. "I thought I made it clear I didn't want to see you again." Stephen said, going back to his morning routine.

"Well, I missed you." Tony said. "It's been two years without."

"Yeah. Two years of being lied to." Stephen said.

"Look, I'm sorry. I had no choice." Tony said. "I was trying to keep you safe."

"Tony, I'm the Sorcerer Supreme. I'm always in danger." Stephen said. "I able to take care of myself."

"Oh, you missed a spot." Tony said, making the floss float. "Whoa." He said.

"I don't need your help." Stephen said.

"What else can I do?" Tony asked. He lifted a brush. "You could a bit of brushing." He said, brushing Stephen's hair. "Brushie brush. You know, I'm still waiting for you to say that you missed me. Admit it, you missed me." He poked Stephe's cheek.

"Tony." Stephen said, anger in his voice.

"Let me help you with your toothbrush." Tony moved it. "This is fun." He laughed. "Ooooh, sPoOkY." He teased.

Stephen sighed, falling to the ground.

"Ah!" Tony gasped. He dropped everything. "Stephen. Stephen!" He called. "Did I do something? Are y-UH!" He received a punch in the face from Stephen's astral form's arm.

Stephen stepped out of his body. "I thought I told you to leave." He said.

"Oh, so we're gonna have a ghost fight, now are we? Tony asked. "Put em' up." He said, bringing his fists up.

"You forget I've been training since I was six." Stephen said, kicking Tony in the abdomen.

"Ah!" Tony groaned. "That hurt. But we're ghosts. How do things hurt?" He asked. "Ah!" He dodged an incoming hit from Stephen. "Alright, calm down. caLM DOWN!" Tony grabbed a plate to shield himself.

"No!" Stephen tackled him through the floor.

There was a the sound of things being knocked over, accompanied by one of Tony's screams.

"AH! Jarvis! Abort! Abort!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

///0///0

"Oh, you're still in one piece." Natasha said, as Tony walked back into the compound.

"On the outside yes." Tony groaned. He popped his back. "Oh god." He groaned.

He noticed Steve.

"I don't get it Rogers." Tony said. "How come you were so excited to see your friend over here..." He pointed at Bucky. "...after he'd been hiding for so many years, but's Stephen freaks out after two years?"

Steve looked at him. "Everyone's different. Everyone's gonna have a different reaction. In this case, Stephen took it very hard."

"And that makes me the bad guy?" Tony shrugged. "But coming back is better than never coming back, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Thor said.

Tony looked at him. "Thank you."

"But the wizard did get very sad." Thor said. "I wouldn't know what to do if I lost someone, like...like Bruce for example, so suddenly. I don't blame him for being sad."

"He's more emotional than others." Bruce said. "He had an emotional attachment to you."

"Had?" Tony said. "I think you mean has."

"Maybe." Bucky said.

"I left Jarvis with him, so he could I at least have a part of me." Tony said.

Sir, I wasn't activated through those two years by Dr. Strange

"What? Why?" Tony asked.

You never told him you had left me to him

Everyone looked at Tony, raising a brow.

"Okay, so I might've forgotten a few things." Tony said.

"I think, you should've told him." Thor said. "The wizard's really good at keeping secrets. He would've kept yours." He said, taking a bite from a Hawaiian roll. "Bruce these are amazing." He said.

Tony sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. "I can't believe I lost it."

"What? His trust?" Steve asked.

"Your last bit of sanity?" Natasha asked.

"Your will to live?" Bucky asked.

Bruce looked at everyone.

"Actually, I was talking about my phone, but I think we need to have a meeting to discuss what just happened." Tony said.