To Hell and Back

Chapter 19

Today is the day. This past week has crept by because I was anxiously waiting for this day to arrive. I get to see the little person that is growing inside of me and how far along I might be. I downloaded the app that I read in the pamphlet and seen how beautiful it is to have a baby growing inside of you.

I still haven't talked to Mike about the pregnancy yet. When he asked about how my doctor's appointment went I lied and told him that they took my blood and a few tests and they would get back to me. He gave me a look like he knew I was lying and then dismissed the whole situation. I just wanted to be sure of everything before I told him and then we can decide together on what we should do.

I walked into the doctors office to check-in and the same nurse came out to get me. I was happy they didn't have me waiting long this time. She brought me back into a dimly lit room with a big TV screen on the wall and a monitor beside the ultrasound table. "Take off your pants and panties and then you can cover up with this." the nurse said handing me a paper blanket. She told me that the ultrasound nurse will be in in a second and walked out.

I did what I she told me to do and shortly after another nurse came in. "Hi, I will be doing your ultrasound today. Are you excited?" she asked getting the things together to prepare for the ultrasound.

"More nervous than anything right now." I said.

"A baby definitely can have your nerves go up and down, but its all apart of the process. I'm about to put some gel on your belly and it will be a little cold." she said right before she squirted some really cold gel on me. After the gel she put what looks like a knob on my belly. "Well there goes baby." she said pointing at the screen up on the wall.

When I looked up I was confused at first and the nurse could see it on my face so she started letting me know where the head was and then the body, and then the legs and arms. Once it all came together i literally seen a little person up on the screen. My heart beat a thousand miles as I watched the little nugget move around. "Why cant I feel it move?" I asked amazed at what I was seeing.

"Well that's because the baby isn't quite big enough yet but you will be feeling this little one kick around really soon." she said, sliding the knob thing around my belly. After about ten more minutes of measuring the nugget I had inside of me she stopped. "There goes the heart beat." she said turning the volume up. That sound was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life. Watching the little nugget's heart flicker and hearing it at the same time was amazing to me. "Well it looks like you are 14 weeks and 2 days." she said handing me the ultrasound pictures.

"I've been pregnant for 14 weeks?" I asked surprised out of mind. How could 14 weeks get away from me like that?

"Yes mam, I know that it is a lot to take in but it really is a beautiful thing. Will daddy be around to help out with baby?" she asked.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. Mike has so much going on for himself and a baby might get in the way of all of that. Just thinking about telling him has my mind going crazy. "Why am I not showing yet?" I asked curious of why I still have a semi flat stomach.

"Your baby is still small. Just about the size of a lemon. So it's still deep in your uterus but trust me in no time your belly will pop out of nowhere. Sweetie enjoy the little bump while you can because once it gets big, it gets uncomfortable." she said making us both giggle a little.

When the doctor's appointment was over the only thing I could think about is my little one. Wondering who it will look like, if it will have my green eyes. If it will be a boy or girl. If anything bad will happen. Everything possible was coming to my head on my way home except on how I am going to tell Mike.