her ocean eyes // billie eilish

chapter 23

**billies pov**

I had been texting Brandon the whole flight, smiling almost anytime he texted. I hate feeling like this. I hate missing him. He was so shitty to me and yet I can't help but just wanna run into his arms.

He can't even ever make feel better, but I still feel like maybe things could change.

I was being completely honest with him. I'm not gonna lie and tell him she isn't good to me. She's the best ever to me. I feel like she's too good for me sometimes.

We continue to text throughout the flight, but one text from him really makes me start shaking and almost crying. He brought up the first month of our relationship.

He wasn't lying. I did cheat. I cheated with a girl I had hella feelings for. When he found out, I immediately cut her off and went back to him. But I knew I had feelings for her the whole time. I knew I didn't like him the way I loved her.

I just didn't wanna lose him. We were so happy. Atleast, I thought we were. But, in reality we really weren't. I think I was just scared of him, and thought I couldn't leave.

"You really need to stop texting him. I don't like the way he's talking to you." Finneas says, touching my arm.

"Mind your business." I said, turning in my seat to where he couldn't see my phone.

"You're gonna hurt Katherine if you keep acting like this." he said, which made my eyes start to water but I forced my tears back. I don't wanna hurt her, and i'm sure I already have. Fuck.

My phone buzzes again, but I decide to ignore it. I don't even want to talk to him anymore. But, when my phone vibrates at a different pattern, Kat's text pattern, I immediately pick up my phone.

katherine baby: i miss you. i'm sorry for telling you he isn't worth it, but these last five hours have been boring and i wanna hold you again. and i can't stop thinking about if you wanna hold him instead.

My eyes start to water, and I can't help but cry. Finneas looks over, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"What happened? Did he say something?"

I showed him my screen, letting him see Katherine's text. His face sinks.

"Fuck. Text her back, she's obviously upset." he says, handing me back my phone.

I texted her back, telling her everything that I think I needed to.

A few seconds after I send the text, Zoe stands up, motioning Finneas to stand up so I can get out, and she can get in.

I immediately stand up, moving one seat in front of me to sit next to Katherine.

As soon as I sit down, she looks me in the eyes, and I can see she's been crying. I hate seeing her like that. I lean in, kissing her cheek and apologizing once again. She pulls me closer, moving the arm rest from in between our seats so she can wrap her arms around me. I sit there, falling asleep instantly.

~

"I don't want you to leave. Please don't leave." Katherine says, whining as I pack my bags for tomorrow. I really don't wanna leave either.

"Baby, I don't wanna leave either, i'll be back in two weeks though. Then we can go on cute dates and cuddle."

We just got home from the airport maybe an hour ago after two very long flights. It's 2am here, but we aren't tired because of the jet lag.

"You being famous is very mean. I wanna be with you all the time." She said, pouting. I pull her close to me, cupping her cheeks and forcing a smile on her until she actually smiles.

"Why are you so good at making me happy?" She said, playing with my hoodie strings.

"I ask myself the same thing." I say, kissing her softly.

I get up to switch on my red lights, and I turn my music playlist on as we just chill, laying down in my bed.

"I kinda wanna bake something." I say, sitting up, looking at Katherine for approval.

"Babe, it's almost 3am. But, i'm down." She said, sitting up with me.

We walk into my kitchen, as I check to see if I have all the ingredients to make vegan cookies. When I see that I do, I lay out all the ingredients, as Kat gets the measuring spoons and cups, and grabs a bowl from the cupboard.

When I see that everyone in the house is still awake, I play my music since I don't have to worry about waking anybody up.

I mixed the ingredients, as Kat used the whisk as a microphone, serenading me. And to my surprise, her voice is actually really good.

"Woah mamas, why didn't you ever tell me you could sing?" I said, which made her stop in her tracks.

"Shut up. You cannot say anything about me when you sound like an actual angel."

"Hey, talented people seek talent the best. Just sayin." I said, winking at her.

We put the cookies in the oven, and watched The Office until the oven dinged, signaling that they were ready.

"Wait, these are actually bomb." Katherine said, biting into one before even letting it cool.

"Yeah, I bet it's hot too. You're supposed to leave them for a little bit, babe."

"Oops."

I set the cookies on a plate, leaving some for my family as I walk back into my room, holding Katherine's hand behind me. We sit on my bed, and I decide to turn off The Office, putting music on instead.

We laid down, laughing and making jokes as we ate the cookies. Singing to the music occasionally.

Katherine turned to me, putting her hand on my chin to make me look at her. She looked me in the eyes, and smiled.

"I don't know if this is too much for you or if it's too early, but I just want you to know I love you. I love you so much." She said,  and with no hesitation at all, I replied with a kiss before saying, "I love you too. No doubt about it."