her ocean eyes // billie eilish

chapter 33

Katherines POV

My entire face drops, as I feel like I'm gonna cry. He kissed her. And she didn't tell me.

"Katherine...it's not what you think.." Billie says, which snaps me out of my thinking.

"What is it then?" I say, looking back up to my phone.

"I don't know...But we aren't dating or anything. Definitely not."

"Neither are me and you. That doesn't mean anything, Billie." My eyes began to swell with tears. "Did you kiss him back?"

I could see her playing with her rings, staring into space.

"I did."

My vision blanked. I could only hear her voice but I saw nothing. My tears completely blocked my vision.

"I didn't know what to do, Katherine. I really didn't. I didn't know what he meant by it, but we talked and we agreed that I love you. Not him. I told him I love you and that kissing him was a mistake, because that's the truth."

No words could even begin to come out of my mouth at this point. I just stared at her, letting her speak. Not sure what I'd say when she was done.

"I know I fucked up. Trust me I know. But, please baby. Please don't give up on me." She said.

"I won't."

~

"Hey, you good?"

I've been hanging out with my friend Kira for the past few hours, but I guess I zoned out.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just been thinking." I said, leaning my head against my headboard.

"What's on ya mind?" She asked, moving next to me.

"Just shit with my girlfr-" I stopped myself, "My friends. Friend drama."

"We been knew you're gay bitch, you ain't gotta hide it. Everyone knew about you and Madison." She said, shocking me.

Madison and I were pretty secretive, and both closeted. We told everyone we were bestfriends so they wouldn't be suspicious of us hanging out everyday, and we always were cautious of how we acted in public.

"Wait, really?"

"Fuck yeah. It was so obvious dude. Everybody was jealous of her though. You hot as hell." She said, which made me shift my seating. I hated when other people hit on me.

"Come here, let take a picture. I need something new to post on my snap." She said, scooting so close to me that we were touching.

*click*

She ended up not even liking the picture, so she didn't post it. But yet, still saved it.

Billie's been all I can think about all day. I keep getting sad over the situation, and she had to do more press, so she's been gone.

"Yo, can I stay the night tonight? I don't wanna drive all the way home. I'm tired." Kira asked.

"I can drive you home if you need me to." I suggested, really not wanting her to stay. I love her to death, but I have a feeling she's onto something.

"Come on, you're no fun. I never get to see you. Just oneeeee night." She said, inches from my face.

"Fineee." I said, trying to sound amused. News flash: I wasn't.

~

"So, you're dating Billie fuckin' Eilish? That shits dope as hell." Kira said. I had just told her about everything with Billie and I.

I forget she's famous sometimes.

"Yeah, but it's not really a huge deal. I just see her as a normal person, because that's what she is."

"Yeah, a normal person with four million followers and teenage girls screaming over her. She's fucking amazing." She said, laughing at the fact that I called her normal.

We had been watching a movie, but not paying much attention to it, we've just been talking. Billie finally got out of press though, so I've been texting her.

I think we're okay now.

I hope we are.

"But, technically we aren't dating." I said, picking back up the conversation.

"Oh, so you're single?" She asked, looking over at me.

"Technically, but not in my eyes, or hers. I don't know what you'd call it. I'm not open to being with anybody else, and I love her."

"I think everybody loves her. You're probably just caught up in the fact that you're dating someone famous and she's fucking hot."

"Even hotter in bed. We're a lot more serious than you think. And once again, I forget she's even famous half the time. I really do love her."

"Yeah, alright."

Why is she being such a bitch?

"I'm gonna make a drink. You want one?" She asked. My dad was asleep, and we always have plenty of alcohol in the house. Half the time friends come over they always drink, but I'm not much of a fan.

But tonight, I decide to give in. Today's been stressful.

"Yeah sure, but I just want wine."

"Pussy." She said, pushing my side, laughing.

"Oh whatever." I said, laughing back. "At least I won't be knee deep in the toilet at midnight. I think wine is just fine for me."

She laughed again, getting up to make the drinks.

She came back with four shot glasses, and no wine.

"I decided I was gonna get you shots instead. Two for me, two for you." She said, setting the glasses down on my nightstand.

They weren't regular shots either, they were doubles.

What am I getting myself into...

I downed the first shot, throwing my head back as I take it.

Tequila.

Kira laughs as my face puckers and I stick my tongue out. She takes her first one, not making a face at all.

"1...2...3" Kira says, counting down as we both take our second shot together, clinking the glasses when we're done.

That one tasted different, more of a liquor taste.

I start to feel it immediately, but only a little buzz. And I can tell she does too.

*incoming facetime from bil babyy*

"Yo, Bil is calling me." I said to Kira, answering the call.

"Hi babbbyyy." I said, smiling at the phone.

"I missed you." Billie said, smiling back at the fact that I'm smiling.

"I'm with my friend Kira, say hi Kira." I said, switching the phone to her face.

"I love you dude. Yo." Kira said. She was fucking shitfaced already.

"Hi." Billie said awkwardly, changing the subject saying, "I'm coming home early!"

"Oh my god, you're kidding! When mamas?" I say, slowly feeling myself get drunker as we speak.

"In two days."

And as soon as she says that, I feel myself start to say "Thank god."

But as soon as I finish saying it, I black out.