PINOE'S BLUE SKY

CHAP 12: THE SKY IS COLORLESS TODAY, ANOTHER DAY, AND ANOTHER DAY...

You may wonder what happened to Monica and me in the awkward situation that she had created by daring to replace Tobin and sleep with me for God know how long. So here it is.

She asked me since Skylar and I were done now, could I please go back to her arms and start everything with her all over again. You know how I reacted? I gave her a blunt, emotionless face that every person in my life hates because I only do that face when my heart is cold as I don't care about the person AT ALL.

I wasn't angry anymore, I wasn't shaken anymore, and I didn't wanna run away from her like I used to do anymore. I think at that moment, when Sky turned her back on me, I finally realized something that changed my life forever. I finally realized who was the one that is worth fighting for and who is the one the deserves sacrificing myself for. And that person is no one else but Skylar Blue.

I looked calm and sane, but it wasn't at all any of that. I was just dying inside because the woman who just walked out of my life had taken most of me with her.

I looked straight into Monica's eyes after a long time that I didn't have the courage to. I did not flinch one bit. Maybe because I was too sick of her dumb shit, or maybe because I lost all the respect that I used to have for her. I don't know which one it was but it definitely wasn't anything different from those two.

- Monica. – my weak voice raised as my soul wasn't so fine at that time.

- I'm listening.

I wondered since when her soft voice has stopped having an impact on me, because I honestly didn't feel a thing when that voice appeared.

- Are you asking me to love you one more time?

She held my hand up, squeezed it and nodded determinedly.

I looked down at the hand that I had no strength to control over and then looked at her once again.

- That woman that you just made her walk away from me, she took my heart with her, she took my capacity to love and re-love with her, she took my loving soul with her, she took 99.9% of me with her. Without her, I can't do such thing as love, Monica.

Without her, my life looks like America without California. Like what the fuck is "Ameri"? Cos that's not even a word.

After Skylar left. Everyone's lives kept going as they're supposed to, but mine.

Tobin decided to postpone her proposal because she said she wouldn't get married when I was in my deepest state of my life. It went the same with Ali and Ashlyn, they said they would postpone their wedding until I got Sky back, or at least found myself another one who was as kind, as sweet, as funny, as warm, as pretty, as amazing as Sky.

I felt extremely guilty to Christen even though she didn't know anything about the fact that she was about to marry the love of her life in this December, and I indirectly stopped that from happening for now. And about our Double A's wedding, what can I say? I felt like I was the only obstacle that they had at the point of life where they thought nothing could hold them back. They announced it to the world, everyone was so excited about it. The whole world was literally living for that moment and now they said that they wouldn't do it if I wasn't be able to be happy again.

And about other teammates, they're here too. They left their husband, partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, children, parents, grandparents, pets, and their comfortable bed at home to come here and spend time with me. I was now become the biggest burden of this USWNT. Man, my bestfriends are amazing and I love them to death, but sometimes they are just a bunch of fools that would make you angry but warm-hearted at the same time.