"BUT I THINK IT'S ALRIGHT, GIRL"
[crazy bitches]
vivi: guys, real talk.
i dont know what to do...
cammy: about what?
your "relationship"? did something
happen?
garrett: do i have to fight someone
i will. i ain't afraid
vivi: no, gare.
i genuinely think christian doesn't love me anymore...
im at his place but im in the living room
he just..
seemed blah, no hugs, nothing.
i told him good job and i got a nod.
cammy: viv, i love you
but i think it's time to let him go...
he obviously isn't fighting for it
so why should you?
garrett: we just want what's best for you
and right now, you dating Christian?
just toxic for you. it's driving you insane.
vivi: i just can't bring myself to do it.
i love him too much.
breaking him would break me.
cammy: i think you two need to go different ways
figure out what you two want individually
see what happens with that
then if it comes to that moment where he still loves you?
go for it.
garrett: we love you, viv
and we just wanna see you smile again
we're here for you.
*******
Christian had gotten back from batting practice and Viviana was sitting in the living room, watching videos on her phone. She glanced up and saw him walking into the kitchen, grabbing something out of the fridge. She walked that direction and leaned against the counter.
"Hello?" She questioned, looking at him as he turned around and again, threw her a nod.
"Hey, what's up?" Christian asked, taking a sip of his water.
Viviana sighed, knowing she had to bring it up. "Christian, we need to talk."
Christian held up his hand, "I already know what you want to talk about.." He replied, setting his water down and leaned against the counter too. "You want to talk about us, because we aren't the same anymore." He confessed, Viv nodded, knowing he was correct.
"I feel like I'm putting in more effort to save the relationship than you are, Christian. It sucks." She stated, crossing her arms as she looked at him. "I don't like coming here and just having bland conversations and not even sleeping near each other in the same fucking bed. You know I want nothing but the best for you, and if it's not me, just tell me..." Viviana looked down at her feet, nervous for how he would respond.
Christian took a deep breath, clearing his throat. "I don't know what to do to save it, Viv. It's just not the same as it was before. I don't know if it's because we live different lives, or what. But, I have no idea.." He just shook his head, taking another drink from his water bottle.
"Christian? If you want to break up with me, just say it so we can both be on our ways." Viviana said with a stern tone to her voice, trying not to show how truly heartbroken she was.
He paused. He never thought he would be faced with this; especially with Viviana.
"I don't think you and I work together anymore..." He said, sighing. "It's not the same, we're fighting all the time and it's not fair to either of us." Viviana fought back tears, nodding and bit on her bottom lip.
"You know I always am gonna love you, Viv. But, the thought of you and I being together just isn't something I think we both agree isn't good for us if it's not the same as how it used to be. It's just not an ideal thing at the moment." He admitted, Viviana's eyes were welling up with tears at this rate.
She nodded, sniffling. "That hurts more than I thought it would. But, we need to focus on ourselves, and we obviously aren't happy in our relationship. Well, I don't know. I just—.." She stopped herself before she would really get herself in deep water. "I'll get my things out, then I'll be on my way. I wish nothing but the best for you, Chris." She replied as she walked into his bedroom, grabbing her backpack she left there and stuck some of her belongings in there that she had left at his place.
Once she grabbed everything she needed, she threw the backpack over her shoulder and walked towards the front door. She looked down at her hands, realizing she still was wearing the promise ring Christian had given to her on their three year anniversary. She wiped under her eyes as she took the ring off her finger and placed it on his counter. Viviana took one last look at the place; So many memories were made here, and that's all they were going to be, was memories.
Viviana got back to her and her sister's apartment and walked in, walking right past Gia's room and went into her room, crying quietly so Gia wouldn't notice. But, Gia saw her walk inside and walked in Viviana's room, instantly knowing what happened by how Vivi was.
Gia embraced her sister in a hug, letting Vivi break down on her shoulder, just letting out everything she wanted to at Christian's apartment, but held herself together because she didn't like crying in front of Christian. Her sister rubbed her back, holding her close, comforting her in every way she could. She walked Vivi to her bed and sat in front of her on the bed as she wiped under her sister's eyes.
"I won't ask what happened, because I have a good feeling on what happened. But, I want you to know that it's going to be okay." Gia looked at Vivi, brushing hair out of her face. "I know how much you love him, Vi. Everyone does, and I know this is going to be hard on you, and I understand if you want to be alone, I understand if you want to scream and yell and punch a wall or just cry. It's okay to cry, you're sad, and it's okay to cry when you're sad. Let out your feelings, don't hold them in.." She pulled Viv back into her arms, Vivi just sniffled, letting out a shaky breath.
"I didn't want to go, G.." Vivi said in between sobs and shaky breaths. "It took everything in me to pack up my things and not lose it in front of him..." She sniffled, wiping under her eyes. "I told him I want nothing but the best for him, and if it's not me, then I understand.." Gia nodded, listening to her sister explain what happened.
"I told him I still love him, I didn't tell him that I always will, and I know he'll fall out of love completely with me, and that's okay.." She said quietly, "I had three amazing years with him that I wouldn't trade for the world..." She let a tear fall down her cheek, Gia wiping under her eyes again.
Gia sighed, kissing Vivi's cheek. "Why don't we get your makeup off, get you changed into some comfier clothes and try to sleep..." Gia suggested as Vivi nodded and got up, grabbing her makeup remover off of her dresser. She noticed she had a picture of her and Christian from one of his first games as a Brewer and they were so happy; smiling like crazy. Vivi shook her head and flipped the picture down so she couldn't see it anymore. She didn't want to think about him or see anything about Christian for a while..
YOU ARE READING
losin control; c. yelich. ✔️
Fanfiction"she's falling but she doesn't think you'll catch her." when you have the most perfect relationship but you don't realize you're going to have to lose it to win it back again.
