homophobia // junhao

chapter thirty-one

IF THERE ARE MISTAKES, PLEASE COMMENT. I ACTUALLY CHANGED THIS WHOLE CHAPTER TO MAKE IT SAD SO MISTAKES ARE PROBABLY INEVITABLE
"yeah, we should." minghao said nonchalantly before he could stop himself. he wasn't even ready to talk about it, why would he say that?

junhui gulped at how quickly the reply came. and he hadn't even thought about how he should begin to talk about the kiss. what was he thinking?

he cleared his throat awkwardly. "umm... god, how do i say this?" he mumbled to himself, growing a bit frustrated. "minghao, i really didn't mean to run away like that. i think it's the fact that you liked me which made me feel attracted to you. it's just... you know, i have a girlfriend and i've been homophobic for a really long time and i recently stopped that and... and i really hope i didn't hurt you in anyway. no, i mean i really wish i didn't hurt you the way i did. and i'm sorry for ignoring you all this time," junhui rambled and stuttered endlessly, looking anywhere but into minghao's eyes.

"wen junhui, will you shut the heck up?" minghao groaned, and that managed to stop junhui amidst his recital. junhui stopped breathlessly, finally looking up at minghao with a helpless puppy kind of look on his face.

"if that was an apology, i really appreciate it, junhui. but i don't think i can forgive you. not yet." minghao said carefully, smiling sadly. it was kind of clear that junhui's apology was an appropriate and clear one, and everything seemed to make sense to minghao. his days of stressing over junhui's stubbornness were over.

junhui had finally answered the same question that had been bugging xu minghao for a while now; why did junhui run away?

but the only thing was, nothing was going to change either way. minghao wanted to make sure of that.

there was a small silence that followed. junhui looked up at minghao, blinking as the boy fiddled with his fingers and shifted his feet. "...why?" junhui dragged, and minghao's head snapped up almost immediately.

minghao raised his eyebrows at the boy suspiciously. junhui cleared his throat uneasily before quietly speaking up, "why can't you forgive me?"

minghao couldn't help but notice that junhui sounded so much like a 5 year old child when he said that last part. "isn't it obvious?" he replied meekly. though, the uncertainty in his voice was quite hard to miss.

that uneasiness had a reason to be there, because minghao was afraid. he was afraid that either him or junhui would do something stupid and junhui would just... run away again, maybe. he didn't want to face any issues like that anymore. the past month had been so hard on him, and he had every reason to blame that on junhui. and partially on himself too, because he was the one thinking of junhui the whole time, after all.

junhui's heart clenched. he really thought this would work out the way he wanted it to.

"what is it?" junhui asked reluctantly, yet eagerly.