Chapter Seventeen: We Should Talk....

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Chapter Seventeen: We Should Talk....

Austin's P.O.V

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RECAP

Pain enveloped me as I remembered the last time we 'spoke' to each other. The words he said to me as I begged him to stay.

The way he looked at me when I pleaded for him to just hold me and never let me go.

The glint in his eyes as he beat me unconscious. Is it sad that even during those times, I still wanted him to hold me close.

I can still remember the pain that followed after he'd left me in a pool of my own blood.

Funny, even when he left with that woman after he told me he never wanted me to be his in the first place, I was still convinced that he did love me.

I was still convinced that he would come back to me, that he didn't mean anything he'd said to me.

Every week the following night, I still found myself wishing that everything that'd happened was a dream.

It's actually really sad to remember how pitiful I was when it came to him.

It's like screaming, and no one can hear....you almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing.

No one will ever understand how much it hurts.

You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you....and when it's over, and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back.... just so that you could have the good....

This was the story of my life, and for the life of me....I can't help but feel responsible....

Like I should've know better than to think that someone would actually care about me at all.

For the first time in my life that night, I finally realized that I was nothing important....

That I was nothing but another wolf in this messed up world.

Calvin in a way helped me realize that everyone was the same. I couldn't help but compare him to every other mate out there.

All of them are the same.

That is exactly what I thought, until I went to that pack and saw a certain boy curled up on the floor next to a rusty water heater.

He changed my mind.

Austin helped me almost forget what Calvin did to me.

Almost.
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I remained in the kitchen, still sitting where they'd left me earlier. I'd heard most of what their conversation was about, but things had gone quiet towards the end.

Feeling paralyzed, I held my breath.

His mother seemed very adamant about us not being together, her mind was definitely set some time ago. I still have yet to understand why she hates me.

I had done her no wrong, all I've ever been was nice to her....to anyone really. I don't think I'd ever be able to really hate someone, despite all that I've been through.

You know, it's actually quite comical how so many people have managed to hate me, but I don't have a single drop of hate within me. Not a single bone in my body could ever harbor hate....

I don't think I'll ever comprehend why everyone seems to be on my case about who I am. One would think everyone would love me.

It seems as if no one will understand my pain, or how difficult it is to believe that someone may possibly love me. Me. Not who they think I am, or how I dress.

Just plain old, battered me.

The door behind me swung open, revealing a sad looking Jace. His shoulders were drooped and he was slouched forward, his steps were slow and heavy, almost as if he were a snail.

He just looked so tired.

Maybe his mom had convinced he could do better than me, maybe he got tired of pretending to like me. Well, I guess this is where it all ends.

I prepared my mind for the worst, steeling my heart for the inevitable that was to come.

My hands were shaking really hard, knocking together against my lap. My right leg thumped against the floor, stopping its movement was out of my control.

My breaths were coming in shallowest gasps, tiny whimpers escaping my parted lips. The sweat beading against my forehead was like silk as it slid down the side of my face.

I didn't notice the tears streaming down my cheeks until he gasped in shock and ran to me. He knelt down in front of me, taking my chin in his hand, slowly bringing my face closer to us.

"Don't cry, Tiny, what happened? Did someone say something to you while I was gone?" His concern caused my breath to falter, my lungs hitching as I looked into his eyes.

I guess he's going to continue this little game of his until the end....why does everything have to be ruined for me?

One thing is all I ask, one thing.

I'm not like everybody else asking for tons of material things. I don't give a damn about cars, money, or fame, that means nothing to me.

I just wish to be happy.

I want to feel carefree and full of worth. I want someone to genuinely care about me, to tell me they care.

I just want to smile a genuine smile without having to worry about hiding it from all who want to do me harm.

I....I just want to feel important.

Is that too much to ask?
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