Motley Crue - You're All I Need (Vince Neil/Nikki Sixx/Tommy Lee/Heather)

66: Cryin'

~ Vince's POV ~

- the next morning -

It was hard to wake up next to Amanda after remembering my actions from the past night. I didn't know which one of us was more in disbelief than the other. I was shocked that I had done such a thing, but not all that surprised that I had drank a Nikki-level of alcohol the previous night. And I know she was surprised too. She had her (incorrect) suspicions, but once they were confirmed, it felt that she had closed me off entirely.

I moved so that I was right next to her in the bed again, her eyes still peacefully shut. I was just grateful that she was here with me, giving me a second chance (is it really a second chance if this has happened before?) instead of just shutting me out and running away. But if she had, I couldn't even blame her.

I didn't know if I was proud at her for changing that habit of hers, to run away, or if I was disappointed in her for staying with me after I had hurt her, again. Of course I wanted to stay together, but part of me couldn't help but want to protect her though this. I loved her, but I also had hurt her so many times that it's not fair.

As Amanda stirred in her sleep, I started softly combing my fingers through her hair, trying to keep her asleep so that I'd have some more time with my thoughts. I had no idea what we were going to do, or what I was possibly going to say to her. But my time was cut short when her eyes opened and fell right onto mine.

"Good morning," I greeted immediately.

"Morning," she said, squinting her eyes shut as she stretched out her arms and legs. After her stretches, she rested her head on my chest and I tightened my grip around her shoulders.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

"Good, you?" She mumbled lowly, her eyes slowly closing again.

"Amazing," I lied, because I had barely gotten any sleep at all.

"Vince?" Amanda mumbled.

"What's the matter?" I asked lowly, continuing to stroke my fingers through her hair.

"Why did you do it?" She asked.

"Sweetheart, let's not talk about that right now," I said, hoping to keep her close to me, hoping that we could stay like this for even just a moment longer.

"Why not?" she asked, her voice cracking slightly, revealing how hard she had been sleeping. "I need to know."

"I don't want to upset you any more than you already are," I said. "Let's please not talk about this. Not now."

"Tell me," she commanded, sitting up slightly and looking into my eyes. "Tell me everything."

"Amanda, you don't want to hear it," I insisted, my tone pleading her to just let up already.

"I want to move on," she said suddenly, her eyes looking deeply into mine. "And I can't do that if I'm constantly wondering what happened. So help me, tell me what happened."

"Fine," I said, closing my eyes slightly as I thought of everything that had happened back in New York last night.

"Just start from when you...saw me and Warren and just don't skip anything," she insisted, laying back down beside me. I was glad that she laid beside me again. I couldn't look her in the eye and tell her how I had broken my wedding vows. I couldn't look her in the eye and see how much it was going to hurt her.

"I went off, following you two to the bathrooms," I said, cringing at how hard this was going to be to say. "Then this girl was there...and she read my mind, I guess. We went into the dressing room, and locked the door."