Song to listen to: Run Cried the Crawling by Agnes Obel
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Jake was dead. The doctor were already taking his needles and equipment off.
It was silent. I couldn't hear nor breathe. Tears couldn't form. Why?
Why?
I closed my eyes as the first tear fell.
Jake was gone.
And so was I.
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The feeling of emptiness. So difficult to describe, yet it was all i could feel.
The world seemed to slow down around me. I saw my mother in utter shock. Heartbroken her first born was gone. My chest, my ribs seemed to incase this moment in time.
For the second time, my knees buckled. I allowed myself to hit the floor. But in this case, someone caught me before i fell.
My dad.
I felt all the bad feelings towards him went out the window. and I hugged him. I finally let it all out. I screamed into his chest.
"Why???!!!" I screamed in agony. He even took my mother in his arms for a moment.
"O-our boy." She sobbed. I let go and let them alone together while i took a seat. I reached for my phone, but realized it wasn't there with me.
After about 20 minutes of silence, my mom broke the suffocating air of the news.
"They said they will keep him in the morgue wing for a couple of days, and we should go home." She whispered. "They found his phone and jewelry." She handed me the ziploc bag of his belongings. I held them tight.
Home. Home wouldn't even feel like home anymore.
"Lets go." I said, weakly.
We got in the car and i just couldn't believe it. I refuse to believe it.
Time of death, 4:44 a.m. Why, Jake? Why?
As dawn approached, we came home and I finally picked up my phone. No one had known about the news yet. I decide to go back down stairs, because i didn't want to be alone right now.
My mom had a bottle of wine laid out for herself and my dad. They shared a mutual silence while tears formed in both of their eyes.
My family was very strong and endured a lot. But I don't believe anything could have prepared us for this.
I entered the room, sitting at the opposite end of the island.
"The emergency team said they found him 20 feet away from the initial scene. A drunk driver. and the driver was found in critical condition." My dad said, in a low somber tone.
I must have tuned out the doctors when they told us.
"They said he only felt a little pain. It was quick." He continued. Something about that comforted me. He didn't suffer at all.
A day passed. Then another.
Text messages blew up my phone as i held his favorite necklace that managed to survive the accident.
Sammy, Ethan, Grayson, Rickey, and Denzel all called to make sure i was okay. But I'm not. I appreciate them, regardless though.
Another morning.
My mom encouraged i pick up my school assignments today which i agreed to doing. I showered and got ready to go in before lunch, avoiding seeing people i knew.
I entered the school with a hoodie on my face and big black glasses covering a majority of my face.
"Ocean. I am so sorry to hear about your loss." My counselor said. "Thank you Mrs. Reeves. Can I see my assignments?" I said quickly.
"Of course." She went on to explain all my due dates can be pushed back as long as i need and that the teachers all understand.
"Ocean, some advice? Get a friend or someone who has been in the classes and ask them to help you for the remainder of the semester. Maybe, looking into online classes too?" She said handing me a pamphlet she had pulled from in her desk.
"Shouldn't you be encourging me to stay in school?" I chuckled, for the first time i felt like in days.
"I had a family member very close to me pass when i was in college, and i wish i had someone to tell me i didn't have to finish school in class. I struggled with anxiety and other problems and class rooms did not suit me. I want to be the voice i wish i had then." She placed the pamphlet in my hand.
I gave her a quick smile and went on my way.
As i rushed out the class room, without watching my surroundings, i bumped into someone.
Grayson. Fuck.
"Ocean, oh my god. I am so sorry. I know that's the last thing you want to hear right now, but i can not believe-" He said quickly, embracing me in a very tight hug.
"G-grayson? I cannot breathe." I chuckled and pulled away.
"Sorry, sorry." He backed away with me. I had a spur of the moment idea to steal Grayson for a moment.
"Can you come with me? I really need to talk to someone." I said looking down.
"Of course, Ocean. Where to?" He said.
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He had drove the Ethan to school that day, so we took my car. He drove because he had a better mindset than me at the moment.
"Ocean, your brother was such a good dude. A genuine friend to me and E, always. I'm so sorry." He said, clutching the wheel as tears fell.
"Im sorry too. He wasn't just my brother, he was a friend as well." I said.
"Yeah, he was." He sniffled.
We ended up at the beach i loved. The sun was a perfect temperature and a couple of clouds grazed the skyline. We sat on the beach, reminiscing of Jake. By the time we had checked our phones again, it was hours later.
We walked back to the car, in an alleyway between two beach stores.
"Gray, thank you for today. I really, really needed it." I said, looking up into his eyes.
He examined my sunken eyes and pale skin and smiled. "Always." He was dangerously close to me as his hand cupped my face. I didn't know if i wanted to kiss him or not.
"I shouldn't... kiss you." He said, moving ever so slowly away from me. My gaze lowered from him as I moved back from his grasp.
I awkwardly laughed and we walked to the car in a sort of awkward silence. He walked faster in front of me and scratched the back of his head while muttering of himself.
We entered the car and he didn't turn on the engine yet.
He sat there, frozen.
"Grayson, it's okay, it was an ac-" I was quickly cut off by Grayson's warm lips upon mine.
He deepened the kiss more, cupping my face and pulling me towards him. I finally let it happen and kissed him back.
He whimpered in satisfaction as i kissed him back, grabbing behind his neck. I quickly realized what i was doing.
"No! Stop." I said as I pulled away.
What have i done?
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OHHHHHHHHHHh MY GAWD
UMMM GRAYSON?? Bro
VOTE AND COMMENT UR THOUGHTS, THOTS
