when i'm gone

fatal

an ambulance arrived minutes later. finneas was pacing back and forth, his hands on the top of his head, people telling him to take deep breaths. maggie was holding one of billie's limp hands, begging the paramedics to save her. patrick had his face in his hands, on his knees beside me. "wake up!" i screamed again. my head was spinning. i think i might throw up, i thought. the paramedics cut open her shirt and examined the large bullet wound right under her bra. there was a big hole, spilling blood everywhere. i gagged and turned around and threw up. they were holding down on the wound to stop the bleeding and the paramedics lifted her onto a stretcher.

"hurry!" i begged them, chasing after her as they made way down the stairs on the far side of the stage. i looked out to where the crowd used to be. i saw a few girls on the ground surrounded by the same puddle of blood. cries and sobs echoed in the venue. holy shit. maggie was gripping my hand tight, hers sweaty and shaky. patrick dragged finneas behind us and we all hopped into the ambulance before they closed the doors. the paramedics examined me and asked if i felt pain anywhere. "no! help her, please! i'm fine..." i sobbed, my breath growing quicker. they felt around my body and touched my elbow and i winced. i could feel the knot swelling and when i looked down at it, my arm was black and blue. they ran their hands past my rib and i gasped in pain.

they have to stop! focus on her! i realized they were. she had a breathing mask on and someone was pumping their hands on her chest. i felt a paramedic wrap the same breathing mask around me. "no, i don't need it!" i screeched, fighting everything they tried to help me with. "youre hyperventilating, ma'am and you've seriously hurt yourself," a woman told me frustratedly. i found it easier to breathe with the mask on, but my chest was still tight and the knot in my stomach coiled in circles. maggie was still holding billie's hand, saying through tears, "stay strong baby girl...". i saw the paramedics glance at each other apprehensively. they knew something we all didn't want to accept.

finneas was rubbing his eyes, trying to stay strong. patrick was calling family members. we finally reached the hospital and they rushed her in as fast as they could with us right behind. they ended up putting me in a wheelchair. once we reached billie's room, they instantly started examining her, they lifted the bed up higher, they noticed the bullet was still inside of her, i tried to listen to what they were saying. "3 inches... has to be more it went up.... call in another team stat... punctured her lung and went right.... just hit her heart...." panic filled me to the brim and spilled over. "you have to fix her!" i screamed. patrick walked over to me and crouched to my height in the wheelchair. "hey, willow, you need to calm down. they're doing everything they can. she's gonna be ok." i could he tell was trying to convince himself, too, not just me.

they pumped their hands on her chest, hoping a heart beat would come up. "we need to do emergency surgery! the bullet is too far inside of her," a doctor stripped off his bloody gloves to go find new ones. it felt like hours passed. they sedated me with something, so i wasn't screaming anymore and i couldn't move as much. i felt super drowsy. i was sitting in the wheelchair when i saw them take their hands off billie's chest. i looked at the screen next to them and she was still flatlining. the main doctor approached maggie and pulled down his mask. his eyes were grave. "i'm so sorry..." he whispered, "she was long gone before she even got here. the shot was immediately fatal. it actually went right through her lung and pierced her heart. don't worry, she didn't suffer at all. it killed her almost instantly."

i got up and attempted to walk over to them, but i kept tipping from side to side. maggie collapsed into her knees and sobbed. finneas sat down and sailed into his hands. patrick blinked a lot, tears disappearing behind his mustache, his hand on maggie's back. "ma'am, you need to sit down," a nurse took a hold of me. "no..." i whispered weakly. "save her..." i begged as loudly as i could until the world went black.