Lavender Monarch has Exactly Thirteen Fears

30. snug as a bug in a rug

I look up at the boy's eyes and back down at his hand. I don't know what to say. Luckily, Patty steps in for me.

"Oh, uh. She doesn't like germs," he says. The boy looks confused but lowers his hand.

"Kaleb," he mumbles lamely and lets us in. I take my shoes off at the door and pad down the hallway. I keep my head down, so I don't have to look at the walls in case of a mirror or something else equally terrifying. We step out into the lounge, and Patty nudges my shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure there is nothing in here you're afraid of..." he whispers. I decide to trust him and glance up. He's right to my relief. An L-shaped tangerine couch takes up most of the living room, and several teens are sprawled across it. The TV is on, and they appear to be playing some sort of video game. Patty walks over and starts hi-fiving and slapping the backs of his friends. I walk uncertainly over and perch on the edge of the couch. A small Asian girl next to me shuffles over, so I have more space.

"Macy," she says with a smile. Her black hair is in two buns, and she has a flowy red dress on. She's rather pretty too, and her eyes are a deep brown.

"Lavender," I reply before leaning back against the couch into a more comfortable position. I look over at Patty and see he's wedged himself between two other boys and nicked someone's controller. He hasn't even bothered to introduce me to everyone or make sure I'm comfortable. I roll my eyes as he lets out a loud gasp.

"Oh, oh. Yessss!" The boys whoop and holler as the word 'mission completed' appears no the screen in big neon letters. "Let's go boys!" He cries, sounding like an idiot.

"What a scrub!" One of the other boys calls with a massive grin. I exchange a look with Macy, she doesn't seem to know what's going on either. A redhead on the other side of us leans violently to the side as he attempts to manoeuvre his player. The bowl of popcorn next to him spills over and lands all over Macy. He barely looks at her and I hear a faint 'sorry' before he turns his attention back to the game. The popcorn was covered in way too much butter, and it's already sinking into her dress. She stands up and sighs.

"I better clean this." She seems to know where she's going so I follow her out into the kitchen. She runs the tap and wets a cloth before trying to ease the spreading stain out. "So how come you're here?" she asks. I'm a little taken aback, but I know she doesn't mean it in a nasty way.

"Oh, I'm Patty's girlfriend. I'm visiting him for the day." She raises her eyebrows.

"Right." Her answer makes me uneasy, and I stare back, confused. Before I can clarify what she means, a voice hollers from the other room.

"Macyyyy." She looks down and smiles, a dimple on her left cheek showing. I'd know that look anywhere. Now it's my turn to raise my eyebrows.

"Who's that?" I ask.

"Kaleb."

"The one who doesn't wash his hands?" I say before immediately regretting it.

"What?"

"Nothing," I mumble, and she looks at me quizzically.

"He might not wash his hands enough...but I still really like him." At that moment, he peeks his head around the door.

"You coming?" She nods, and he walks in to grab her hand. "You too," he says to me, so I follow the two of them out. When we get back to the lounge, I'm surprised to see that the TV is off. I was expecting the boys to be on that thing all day. Everyone is sitting around each other, and as I wander over, Patty pats the seat next to him. I sit down and lean against his shoulder, but he pushes me off.

"Not right now, okay?" he whispers. I nod silently. He must just be embarrassed to show physical affection in front of his friends. I glance enviously at the joined hands of Kaleb and Macy but then shake it off. I shouldn't be judging our relationship against someone else. Kaleb leans over to the centre of the table and looks up at us.

"Everyone ready?" Ready for what? I wonder. Heads nod unanimously. He flips a bottle on its side and spins it.

"Rudy and Kaitlin," he announces. My stomach immediately turns. I know this game. I thought we were past the age of this kind of nonsense. The redhead and a taller blonde girl stand up and walk out of the room. I can feel my breathing quickening.

"Patty," I whisper urgently. He turns to face me with a smirk.

"What?"

"Let's go. Now. We aren't playing this."

"Why not? You scared?" he asks me, and I feel my fear rising up in my chest. Here I am, close to having a panic attack and he's as snug as a bug in a rug. 

"Obviously," I admit. "First of all, this game requires being locked in a small space which you know terrifies me, and secondly, germs. Thirdly, we're exclusive, and that means not kissing other people."

"Okay, fine you don't have to play then."

"Thank you," I say with a sigh of relief before catching onto his choice of words. "Wait, you won't either right?"

"It's just a game for goodness sake. This is why I didn't want you to come. I knew you'd act like a baby." At that, I shut my mouth, hardly able to come up with a comeback. I gather up my phone and chuck it in my purse quietly and slip my jacket on.

"I'll see you at home," I say curtly before walking out of the room. I get to the front hallway and sit down to slip my shoes on again. I stand up to leave but not before hearing the next set of names being called.

"Patty and Rachel." This pairing ensures whoops from the rest of the group. I recognise the name too, Patty's so-called friend that he talked about on the phone. The cheers suggest to me otherwise. I turn to see Patty holding onto her hand, smugly.

He turns to look at me, "It's just a game!" he calls out. "I would have been fine with you playing." He shuts the door to the room, and I feel my eyes welling up. I don't even want to think about what they're doing in there. I slam the front door behind me and start the walk back to Patty's house. I hardly reach their front gate before they spill over and run down my face. I open the front door and stand on the front mat, shaking.

"You're home early!" I hear his mum call from the other room, and I try to wipe my tears before she sees me. She walks around the corner, and her face crumples.

"Oh, dear. What did he do this time?" She wraps her arms around me, and I allow myself to collapse into her. I'd prefer it if it were my mum, but I don't have the option, and her embrace is comforting.

Half an hour later, I sit at her kitchen table with a hot cup of tea as she rubs my back. I've brushed my hair and wiped my tears now, and I'm ready for Patty to walk in. Now that I've had a chance to comprehend it all, I have no more of this quiet acceptance but instead hot, blazing anger. He's going to get what he deserves. His mother gives me a pitying smile.

"I really thought he was going somewhere different with you. For a few weeks there he really did seem genuine. He's never stayed with someone as long, and he gushed to me about you all the time. But since we moved here... it was just Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. I'm so sorry. I should have seen it coming."

"I guess people don't change," I whisper into my tea. I appreciate her being so kind to me, but I wish she'd stop talking about it. The only thing she's succeeding in is making me feel worse. Just then, I'm startled by a knock at the door. The sound makes ripples of anger course through my body. Cindy takes a step back.

"You say whatever you want. He can take it," she tells me, and I give her another hug.

"I will," I smile grimly and she shakes her head. I stomp over to the door and take a deep breath. I know exactly what I want to say. The moment I put my hand on the doorknob, it all washes away, and I only feel one thing. Rage. I start yelling before I even open the door properly.

"What the fuck, Patty?"