You sit up fast in your bed, momories of your sisters face as you plunged the sword into her back flickering behind your eyelids. Your skin felt to hot, your hair damp with sweat and your breaths shallow as you pulled them in sharply. You keep your eyes wide open for a moment, fearing the image that would flash through your mind if you dared to close your eyes for even a single second. You shove off the blanket, feeling constricted by it. You throw yourself over the edge of the bed so your feet hit the ground. Then you straighten up and make your way to the door, wipeing at your forehead. Your nightmare still shook you, making you jumpy in the darkness. It was early morning, the sun not yet raised from behind the horizon. With nothing to do, and too awake to go back to sleep you head outside, breathing in the cool, damp air.
The cold air chases away the last memorys of the dream. Feeling a little better you strat to walk through the inky darkness, slowly making your way around the large gardens flowers and bushs. It wanst long before you came acrossed someone sitting on one of the stone benches. You turn around, wanting to quietly leave but the person turns around.
“___, sit down” Jorden taps the space next to him, an invitation you would rather refuse. you almost do refuse, until jorden glances at you ver his shoulder, wondering why you werent sitting. you sigh hevily, not wanting to be around people with the thought of your sister so fresh in your mind, but you had been makeing an effort to be nice to everyone latley and refuseing would put you right back to square one.
Relunctently you sit down, fingres curling in your pale night gown, ten uncurling before retangleing themselves again. Jorden dosent seem to notice your tense, edgeyness. Instead he stares out over the garden which was dark, blochy shapes sitting in the shadows of the dark world. After a few long, agoniseing seconds you glance at Jorden.
“what are you doing out here?” you ask, not looking at him.
“cant sleep” he says plainly then turns to you, studying your emothionless face, or what you hoped was emotionless, it felt stiff to you, like your face had frozen. Jorden looks away suddenly, his eyes scanning the darkness.
“can… can I try something?” Jorden trails off but before you can say anything he turns to you. “but you have to promise not to get angry!” you stare at him skeptically the nod slowly, not sure what you were agreeing to. He turns away, seeming totally calm, like he was sitting on a beach and hadn’t told you not to get angry. After a while he was still only looking over the garden.
“well? What is it?” you ask with growing irritation.
“oh, its nothing” Jorden says absently then before you can tell what he is doing he suddenly moves, so fast you nearly fell of the edge of the seat.
You freeze as Jorden holds you, your arms pinned to your sides, trapped in his arms. Jordens lips are pressed to yours. Every instinct in your body tells you to break free, tells you to force him to release you… but you hold back, he was probuly one of the few people you ever considered a close friend. you hesitate, wondering what you should do. his lips were surpriseingly soft against yours and they were thicker than they looked, his hands were much firmer and stronger than you would have thought as they held your arms captive, even with them shakeing slightly. it wasnt bad, you decide, the kiss wasnt bad at all... But that didn’t mean you needed to kiss back. Jorden then breaks the kiss but doesn’t pull away, instead he holds you there, as if scared to pull away in case you lashed out at him, at least like this you couldn’t use your hands.
“Jorden” you say through clenched teeth, trying not to let your assassin side take over, but at the same time making sure he got the message to let you go. He pulls back then, turning to the garden, his shoulders tense. You sit there watching him, not sure how to react. The main part of your brain was telling you to beat him to a pulp, and then there was that confuseing feeling that you don’t know how to deal with. It was weird, it kinda started when he kissed you, spreading through your chest and making you feel warm and giggly. You tried hard to keep this feeling from affecting your thought prosses, but before you could figure out what that feeling was,
“”um” he says, unsure. The tention grows, affecting Jorden so that he gets fidgety as he plays with his fingers.
“im going back to bed.” You say standing up, pushing that weird feeling completely down to the farthest point of your mind. You turn to leave, not sure how long it would take for him to piss his pants or ran away from you. You walk away slowly, still not sure what you should have said. Thank you? You shake it from your head, feeling that emotion riseing up again as you think about the kiss. You mutter to yourself about stupid emotions and head back to the castle.
