𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕄𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕐𝕠𝕦 ~ 𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕝𝕠𝕣

ROGERS POV (rewritten)

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: Oct 31 2019

REWRITTEN: Mar 6 2021

For the third day in a row, I sit in class, feeling sick. The only person I care about has completely disappeared... Was he dead? How would I know? 

I can barely hear the history teacher as my mind spirals around, thinking up all the horrible things that could've happened to Brian... All the things he could've done to himself... He's shown me the signs... 

He could've hung himself...

Could've jumped... 

Could've set himself on fire... 

Slit his own throat...

Jumped out in front of a car

Overdosed... 

Electrocuted himself...

Slit his wrists... 

He could've done anything. I hadn't heard from him in 3 days. 

"Roger..."

hm?

"ROGER."

I snapped back to what was going on. The teacher had called on me... 

"Are you ok? you... look a little sick..." The whole class was turned and looking at me... Great.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

---

The lunch bell rings and I bolt it to my car. I try Brian on the phone again...

No answer. 

I slammed my steering wheel. Brian could be dead... And it'd be all my fault. All my fault. I started my car and sped directly to Brian's condo... He's been silent for way too long. Something is definitely up. I can feel beads of sweat forming at the back of my neck and on my head... What if I walked in on him dead? Burnt to a crisp... or hung by a rope... or bled out in the bath... I'd have to prepare myself for anything... 

I remember the spare key Brian gave me... It's still here in the car... I left it in the console. 

On the way, I might've run about 8 stop signs, and when I got there, I didn't even bother parking properly. 

I ran to the doors and threw them open, nearly breaking the glass. I pressed the elevator button over and over and over until the doors finally opened. I stepped in, punched in Brian's floor number, and for what felt like an hour, I stood there. What if I was too late... what if he was dead... What the hell would I do if he were dead? I couldn't bear the thought... I was almost crying... 

Finally, the doors opened. 

I ran as quickly as I could, down the halls, to Brian's apartment. Why couldn't I have done this sooner? Brian could be dead and it'd be all my fault for waiting this long. 

I finally get there... My heart is practically beating out of my chest... I hold the key to the lock and open the door... 

Blood...

The smell of blood is the first thing I get.

'I'm too late' was the first thing to cross my mind.