𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕄𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕐𝕠𝕦 ~ 𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕝𝕠𝕣

**ARCHIVED** 𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐑

I wake up in Brian's arms. hes got a pretty tight grip. Its been almost 3 months since hes been super depressed which means he's improving.

He had gotten a phone call from the jail saying that his father had been stabbed to death by some psychopath who sharpened the end of a plastic spoon. there was a private funeral for brian's father.

Anjelica finally broke up with me when she caught me kissing Brian behind the school on lunch break. i remember the look on her face when she saw us.

She was walking up behind the school with a couple of her friends to go to McDonalds for lunch or something and she just stopped there and stared at us. her jaw dropped and she looked absolutely horrified.
"ROGER!!" she screamed.
"uhh- Anjelica... its- um- i-" i began to speak.
"WHAT THE FUCK ROGER!!" she continued.
then she just walked away looking pretty disgusted. but why should i care? she's only just a little homophobic bitch anyway.

After Brian saw Anjelica leave he looked to me and just went back to what we were doing as if nothing had happened.

My dad is still abusive and i can't get away from him.

I feel brian hug me tighter and gently stroke my arm.

"good morning brimi" i whisper.
"good morning!" he whispers back to me. i smile as i move my hand over his.

I follow Brian out into the kitchen and he has a bottle of pills.
"finally taking medication are you?" i ask.
He nods and takes 2 different pills. a red and yellow capsule pill and a small white tablet.

One for depression and anxiety, and the other for ADHD. (and of course he still has his inhaler for asthma)

Its gotten a lot colder outside and its started snowing already. (A/N i live in Canada and its currently snowing outside on november 13. the snow is VERY deep)

"shall we h- head down to the c- coffee shop today?" Brian asks me.
"yeah! of course! maybe at... 12:30." i say as i check my watch that I bought for 11$ last week. "i've got to get back home before my dad destroys me." i get my jacket on and start heading out. "love ya bri!" i say as i start putting my jacket on.

"a- aren't you going to st- stay for breakfast Rog?" he asks. I shake my head and tell him that there's lots to do at home and that i'll meet him as soon as possible. i don't want him to feel like im trying to get away from him.

He gives me the OK to leave because i know how he might feel if i just get up and go without telling him why im leaving and without telling him i love him.

As i walk out of the building im extremely careful not to slip on black ice. its all over the place and you don't even know its there.

I nearly slip as i step down onto the asphalt.

I get in my car and turn the key... nothing happens. must be the cold weather. its -14°C today. (a/n canada gets cold like this even in early november...)

I try turning the key again... nothing. what am i going to do? I hear the engine ignite but it doesn't start running. I try again and again and again.

Finally after maybe 30 minutes of turning the ket over and over again, my car finally decided it would start up. fucking FINALLY.

Canadian winters are harsh. I drive home and i can hear all the ice and snow crunching underneath my tires. Winter break hasn't even started yet.

I plug my phone into the stereo in my car (that i had installed myself because i have a 70s model car. it was an old stereo system that someone on my street was throwing out and i noticed it had a USB port so i took it and installed it in my
car.)

I shuffled my music and Rocket Man by Elton John came on.

I pulled into my driveway and parked my car. My car door was almost frozen shut from the cold. As i walked up to my front door, i nearly slipped again.

i looked like that vine where there was the guy who was shovelling snow and then he slipped for about 9 whole seconds but didn't fall.

I opened the front door and to my surprise, nobody was home. I walked around the house. in the kitchen, in the basement, in all the bedrooms. nobody was home.

I started looking for some things my dad would beat me up for not doing. i could do everyone's laundry... or scrub the entire kitchen...

I decided i would just tidy the whole house before they got home just to be safe. i don't want to be all bruised and bloodied up and in pain when i go meet brian at the coffee shop.

My parents still think im single. Everyone in my family is homophobic so now im absolutely terrified of what they might do to me when they find out about bri... they might even do something to him too!

I have to keep this a secret. Brian is just a friend. to my parents, he is JUST A FRIEND.

I begin picking stuff up off the floors and putting them wherever the fuck they look like they belong.

xxx

My family had returned home and it was 12:26. they didn't realize i was already home.

I start walking down the stairs as i text brian. I tell him im leaving to go to the coffee shop when suddenly my dad finally acknowledges my existence. and grabs me by the arm.

"where do you think you're going?" he asks in a very stern voice.
"oh... o- out with a friend..." i reply, not knowing whats about to happen.
"scrape all that ice off the driveway... and my car. and maybe i'll consider letting you go... you've got an hour... and give me that" he says reaching and taking my phone from my hands.
"Who the hell is Brian?" he asks, reading my messages.
"oh... nobody." i say, trying not to make eye contact.
"well his name's right here, who is he?" he asks.
"my... my friend... im supposed to be hanging out with him today." i say.
"I never said you could go out... WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD GO OUT HUH? 1 HOUR! GOT THAT? YOU NEVER EVER DO THINGS ON TIME!! 1 hour is being VERY generous!!" he screamed at me as he turned to walk away.

IM SUPPOSED TO MEET BRIAN IN 6 MINUTES!! AND I CANT TALK TO HIM EITHER!! how is this going to make him feel? he's gonna feel like i stood him up or something!! he's going to get depressed again!!

i walk outside and i feel like slamming my head onto the bricks. (a/n I've felt like this before :)

i quickly get as much of the work done as i can. scraping ice is fucking HARD.

Brian is super sensitive and can get hurt easily... i can only begin to imagine how he feels right now.