In Loving Memory of Katie *supercorp/meltie*

Chapter Eleven

This past week had been really difficult for Katie, she's had so many memories in a row that she just feels exhausted. She's had a lot of fights with her mother about her job and how she doesn't want it back, her mother thinks it's stupid to start a career now but Katie don't see herself being a realtor, she wants to do theatre and no one will change that. Flashbacks of past fights with Mary came flushing in while she slept and Katie realized Mary and her had a really bumpy relationship because they disagreed on a lot of things, even about marrying Melissa. She also had lots of memories about the house, going to the bathroom she would feel like she has been there before in a long time and so in other parts of the house, with objects as well. Her family got a really good neurologist for her that's been helping her be open to more memories and pills for seizures and migraines.

Today is the 23rd of December, the day of the accident, so the whole house was morbid, no one looked at each other's eyes or talked about it, Katie thought that was how they reacted to the date all these years but now she's here, they're supposed to be happy. Katie's mood swung after lunch when her mother kept demanding everyone's help to decorate the house but the only thing she'd do was complain that they weren't doing it right so Katie threw the decorations on the floor, grabbed her jacket and her wallet and walked out the door. She needed some time to relax and it seemed impossible to do it in the house.

She walked a couple of blocks south, she was used to it, and found a park that had pretty christmas light so she decided to sit down and enjoy the view. The city was having one of the coldest days of winter and Katie could feel her fingers getting numb but she ignored, anything was better than going back to the house. She checked her wallet and there was some dollars so she decided to find a coffee shop. She had to walk another block to find one, as soon as she entered it she regretted it. 

From a distance she could see the blonde wavy hair she came to know these past weeks, it was her wife, she couldn't mistake her hair. Katie thanked the stars Melissa had her back to the door because Katie stared at her for a long time. The next minute broke Katie's heart, a latin woman sat at the table with two cups of coffee giving one to Mel and also kissing her on the mouth. I thought she couldn't move on, Katie thought. She took a deep breath as she heard both girls laugh together and turned to the counter to order her coffee.

"A large black, please."

On the other side of the restaurant, Melissa was having a wonderful date with her cowoker Gabriela, they had hooked up a couple of times, so dates are comfortable for Mel, Gabi is one of the few people she can have a normal date without crying about her dead wife. Her friend knew that today was a rough day for Mel so she took her out hoping to make it better, but both of them knew nothing serious was gonna happen between them, they just had fun from time to time. They laughed about how the employee mistook Gabi's name for Gobby, Mel's mind was focused on their conversation until she heard a name.

"What's your name?"

"Katie." As soon as the name hit her ears she turned around to see a girl standing on the counter with a thick jacket and black hair about the length of her shoulders waiting for her coffee. Mel blinked twice taken aback by the name.

"Now, everything I hear is her, I think I'm going crazy." Mel turned around to continue to talk to her friend. "Seriously, after seeing all those home movies and then her mom called me, it's been crazy these days."

"About those home movies... is there something good in there?" Gabi tried to lighten the mood with a dirty joke.

"Stop being stupid, of course not." Mel didn't like the joke, she respected Katie's memory and she took it very serious when the topic was her wife.

"Sorry, but think on the brighter side...You get to celebrate her this Christmas alongside her family, think of how that would make her happy that y'all are together still."

"Yeah, that will be great. Thank you Gabi, I love spending time with you." Mel kissed the girl's mouth like they always did.

Katie left the coffee shop crying, she didn't know what to feel. She had decided to try things with Melissa, but she wanted the girl to be happy with whomever she chose to be, and after hearing from Chyler that Melissa hasn't been able to move on previously she feels obligated to feel happy because of all the hurt she has caused her wife, even before the accident. So seeing Mel with another woman hurt but it was what Katie needed to see for her to give up, to go back to Pittsburgh and live the life she knew, to stop trying, every second of her day, to remember the girl who loved her and the life they had together. This was the universe setting both girls free.

Katie threw her coffee on the ground and let out a scream, fog coming out of her mouth. She couldn't even cry anymore because her tears would freeze to her cheek, her whole hand was frozen at this point and she felt like she could sing Let It Go right now and it wouldn't be weird. A taxi stopped to ask if she was okay and Katie asked him to take her home, she gave the address and the money and was at her house 10 minutes after.

She banged the front door closed catching everyone's attention, she noticed every eye drawn to her, she saw a stranger helping them with the Christmas tree, Nicole quickly presented the guy.

"Katie, this is my boyfriend Jesse." she pointed to the long haired boy about her age.

Katie faked a smile and shook his hand.

"Wow, cold hands, have you been outside this whole time?" he asked showing concern, Katie just nodded. 

"It's nice to meet you but if you don't mind I need to buy your girlfriend for a minute." Katie said grabbing Nicole's hand and pulling her upstairs.

"What's up?" Nicole was worried as to why Katie was acting so weird.

"I'm going home." she blurted out and her sister wided her eyes. "I appreciate everything you've been doing for me but this clearly isn't working and I don't want to remember anymore." the tears came back.

"Why? Things are working out, Katie, I don't want you to leave, please." Nicole held her hand so tight Katie felt her fingers being crushed. "Is this about mom?"

"No, it's about me not wanting to live another life, I am good how I am, I don't need to change, I don't want to." Katie lied but Nicole wasn't buying any of it.

"You're not telling me something." she said and Katie let her head down. "Come on, haven't I not showed you that you can trust me?"

"I saw Melissa today."

"What did she say?!" Nicole asked.

"She didn't see me, she was on a date with another girl on the anniversary of the accident, Nic." Katie finally spoke what really bothered her about the encounter.

"I'm sorry, Katie, but why this has made you change your mind about everything?"

"Because I want her to be happy, being with me after all those years and memory loss would be too complicated, if I'm not around she can move on with someone else."

"Didn't you say you loved her?"

"I do, and that's why I'm doing this, I can't hurt her anymore than I did, it's not fair on her."

"Well, can I tell you what I think?" Nicole asked and Katie nodded. "I think if you leave you'll never know what is like to be in love and that will be the greatest mistake of your life."

"Whatever." Katie leaned her back against the wall. "I can't do it tomorrow, not after what I saw today."

"Okay, but you don't have to leave town, you don't have to leave us." Nicole said from the bottom of her heart. "Seriously, I can't lose you again." 

Katie smiled at her sister giving her a big hug reassuring her that she wasn't going anywhere. 

"Can you help me tomorrow? I really don't want to mess the party but I also don't want Mel to see me."

"We'll figure things out."

so sorry about the delay. I was traveling last Friday so it didn't really seem like a Friday to me, so I forgot to post it. but I'll still post another tomorrow (today I guess) thank you for your patience.

LOLA xoxo