Love In Darjeeling

The Fallen Tears

Today is the Cremation ceremony of our parents.

According to hindu religion, we believe that the individual soul has no beginning and no end. It may pass to another through reincarnation, depending on one's karma (the consequences of one's actions over lifetimes). If the soul has realized the true nature of reality, it may become one with Brahma (the one).

It's been a day, technically, since we have received the news of our parents, but frankly it seems like ages. I haven't been able to digest the fact that I'm never gonna meet my parents or my loving uncles and aunts.

We still haven't seen the body yet and none of us dared to do that after Rahoul's comment. We'll receive it today, the police and morgue will deliver it to us.

We had to inform our relatives about what happened and that's what we did the whole day, yesterday. It was difficult to talk about it again and again but we had to. Yuvan had given a post in the local newspaper. Our hotel is also a bit popular in the country so many news are also covering it. So, whomever we have forgotten to call will eventually receive the news.

The only thing that is distracting me in this chaos is the Twins. I suddenly felt the responsibility of the kids. I'm trying to look after them in the best way possible. They have cried multiple times since we received the news. The reason being, they can sense that we are sad which made them cry. All of us try not to cry in front of them, but can't always help it.

I haven't had a single conversation with Rahoul yet. I know it is affecting him. But I can't.

I don't know why I'm avoiding him in the first place. It's not his fault. In fact he has been helping me in every way possible. He hasn't left my side since that night. He along with Malini aunty and Pakhi are staying in our house. There were many preparations to be done, so they took it upon themselves to look after everything that is to be arranged.

I haven't shed a single tear yet. It's like I don't have any or my mind haven't registered the fact that we're technically an orphan.

When Pakhi and Malini aunty came yesterday after Rahoul told them the news, Pakhi was not able to contain herself. She came and hugged my while crying. I just held her. My eyes stung with unshed tears but I didn't let them go.

I sighed, getting up from bed and went to get ready. We'll be receiving the bodies in an hour. Last night was difficult, I don't think any of us slept. The twins were fussy all night. Me and Malini aunty along with Sparsh and Yuvan took turns in watching them. But I was up everytime. No matter who got to them first, I was with them till the time they fall asleep again.

I took a shower and dressed in a white saree. It's a custom to wear white and traditional clothes. Without stealing a single glance in the mirror, I went out of the room.

The twins were up, and Riya was making their bottle ready that she has bought from her home. It's another custom, that we can't cook until the cremation ceremony is over. There was some light breakfast piled up in the dining table, I guess that came from Rahoul's home. Eklavya and Chintan standing near the door cleared my suspicion.

They looked at me, probably wondering what to say but I nodded at them in acknowledgement.

All the furniture from the living room has been dragged to the corner. So that there is enough space for our parents to lie and enough space for whoever was coming to sit.

Rahoul was standing near the twins, trying to entertain them so that they can eat. If it would have been any other day, I would have laughed at him and maybe swooned a bit.

But today was different.

I took the bottle from Riya who was struggling with the twins to get them to eat but failed miserably. Both of their eyes lit up when they saw me. Viaan tried to reach up to me, so I sat in front of them. I caressed their cheeks and ruffled their hair. They love it and it distracted them enough for me to put the bottle in their mouth. They drank it quietly, much to my surprise.