Kristoph x Phoenix

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Seven years. It had been seven long years since that day. The day of my disbarment. It was a tough ordeal to go through. Because of that, I was thankful for two very special people in my life. They gave me something to look forward to, something to not give up on.

But a lot of things have changed. You and me both. 

Standing behind the defense bench, I looked to the man I had once considered important to me. The one who I thought was special.

I cannot deny how I feel about this whole situation nor do I want to accept it. Even so, I wish things had gone differently.

"It appears that the jury has reached a verdict." Raising his gavel, the judge announces, "I and the jury hereby find the defendant..."

Why must fate be so cruel?


5 Years Ago

"Kristoph. We've been friends for 2 years now..."

He watched me earnestly, his eyes urging me to continue.

"And during those years, I have yet to understand you. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the kindness you have shown me and I can't imagine where I'd be right now without you." I ran a hand through my hair. "But every time I look at you, I feel as though there's a part of you I don't know. A part of you that I can't make sense of. A part of you I want to get close to."

He pushed his glasses up and held his hand there. "Is that so?"

I nodded. "But it's not just that. I don't know what it is or why I'm feeling this way but," I could feel sweat form on my brow, "I really do value our friendship, I really do. If I could I would just leave it as is and continue as if nothing was wrong."

He chuckled. "But Wright, your 'friendship' toward me was never pure. As you have said, you're suspecting me of something. Foul play perhaps?"

"...No. I don't suspect you of foul play. Not at all."

To this, Kristoph widened his eyes slightly, a subtle move that I failed to pick up on. "Then what is it about me that you find suspicious?"

Shaking my head, I failed to think of an answer. "I...honestly don't know. But our friendship," I braced myself for what I was going to say, "it was never pure. None of it was."

I locked my eyes with his, the guilt building up inside me. Since the day that I realised what I felt for him was something else, I couldn't handle the overwhelming feelings that raged inside my head, inside my heart. They were relentless and wouldn't leave me alone. All day and all night they kept me from returning to the real world. From returning to the life I had once led.

It's time to end it here. Right now.

"Kristoph," I called out, taking the one step that kept us apart, "my friendship with you was never just that. There was so much more to it. So much more that I found myself going crazy and unable to think straight. My only thoughts were of you and you alone."

Standing right in front of him, I gazed deep into his eyes. His cool blue eyes didn't waver for a second as we continued to stare into each other. Peering into them, I could see his life dancing wildly, an ever brilliant shine that captivates me. But not just that. What I could also see was the fear in my own. The fear that I tried to hide as I played this charade, this facade of confidence.

Come on, Phoenix! Just tell him already!

Balling my hands into fists, I cried out in a stifled yell, "Kristoph! I love you!"

I waited. I waited for anything he might do. I waited for a slap, a laugh, a look of disappointment. Anything that would tell me that I was wrong and that I made a complete fool of myself.

Instead, I felt something warm around one of my hands. Looking down, I saw his hand clasp mine and watched as he brought it up to his lips. He kissed the back of it softly, his lips sending a jolt up my arm and blood rushing to my head.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Wright." He pulled me forward, resting our foreheads against each other and quietly whispered, "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to hear those words from you."

Those quiet words were all I needed to hear to send me spiralling.  Spiralling down a doomed path full of turmoil and anguish. As soon as he uttered the last word, I felt as though I had been swept off my feet and bound to him....

And him alone.


Present Day

"NOT GUILTY!"

Applause erupted around the courtroom, cheers for the defense ringing in our ears. Confetti fell from above but as they floated to the floor, so did the celebration. In its place was the sound of a lone, crazed laughed that echoed against the courtroom walls and resonated deep within us. The laugh was far louder than any heard by the one causing it.

Kristoph Gavin.

Staring into his eyes, I found myself hollow. Or maybe I was always this hollow but never knew of it until now. Whatever the case, at that moment I was lost. On one hand, I should be happy for this victory. Happy that everything had finally reached an end. But there was still that feeling in my heart. That feeling not of overwhelming happiness and cheer, but of emptiness and sorrow.

Who knew that after all this I still felt for you this way?

Those cold eyes stared back at me. Unlike that day, all I could see in them was my own reflection. My own fearful self. The vibrant energy that was his life had vanished and was now replaced with the cursed, glazed image of me.

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