Pointe Shoes and Spider Webs

47. Double-Edged Sword

Daphne throws the door shut. Her dad is on a date and for once she's grateful he's trying to see other women. She wouldn't have had the gut to explain this to him. She couldn't. Spider-Man is supposed to be a secret. Her coat is thrown in the corner and she makes her way to her bedroom. She aggressively throws her shoes in the corner, already feeling the heavy weight in her chest rise to her throat. Her thoughts start blending together as her tears make her vision blur.

"Are you alright?" Her head shoots to the door where the voice came from. Loki stands in the door opening, but he's not his usual sassy self. His shoulders hang low and he frowns at her, genuinely worried. His question was serious, she realizes. Not meant as a joke. She wants to throw something at him, but can't find herself to put in the effort. She sniffs and blinks, letting the tears stream down her face.

"Do I look alright?"
"No," he answers simply. He doesn't move, letting her decide whether or not she's comfortable with him there first. She fiddles with her fingers and looks down.
"Why are you even here, it hasn't been a month yet."
"I was planning on surprising you, but I wasn't expecting this," he says as he vaguely gestures at her. Something's off about what he's saying. Like he's purposefully keeping something back.
"We had a deal Loki."
"We do, we still do." He holds his hands up in defense and takes a tiny step forward. "This is my October visit and then you will not see me until next month." Daphne doesn't move.

It was only last week when they made the deal and it was already October then, but she did say he could visit once a month. Apparently, to him the zoo meet didn't count. This loophole in their deal only works once anyways, so she doesn't bother yelling at him.
"I will ask before I come next time."
"Yeah," she mumbles. Her breath is shaky. It's quiet for a second.
"Can I help? In any way?" He asks concerned. "I'm worried about you."
"Worried?" Daphne scoffs and looks up at him. Straight into his blue eyes. "About me?"
"Yes." A silence falls. She doesn't want to ask why. She doesn't want anything right now. She just wants to disappear. He slowly cocks his head and shuffles in his place. His arms hang at his side helplessly.

Daphne can't help herself when she rushes towards him and hugs him tightly. He raises his arms in surprise, looking down at the small girl holding onto his torso.
"I'm so stupid," she sobs into his chest.
"You're not." He carefully wraps his arms around her. His slender fingers land on her hair. With anyone else he'd have thrown them off him. He'd worry about his clothes being ruined. With Daphne, however, he feels nothing but a duty to protect. To keep her safe. He doesn't like seeing her like this. In pain. "Who hurt you?" He didn't mean to sound as aggressive as he did.
"No one," she mutters. "I'm just stupid."
"How are you stupid?"
"Peter."

Daphne immediately regrets saying his name as she can feel Loki tense up.
"What did he do?" he asks through gritted teeth. She can't lie to him. But she also knows he already knows about Peter. He practically told her that during the kidnapping.
"Double-edged sword," she says quietly. Loki remembers their conversation and makes a short confirming noise. His body relaxes slightly.
"He told you?"
"I... figured it out." She sniffs and re-positions herself against him, turning her head the other way, but not looking at him.
"Yet you call yourself stupid."
"I should've known sooner," she scoffs through her tears. "Besides, he made it blatantly obvious."

Loki presses his lips on top of each other. This situation must look rather comical as he's a lot taller than she is. Her head only just about reaches his chest and she clutches onto him with everything she has. Her shoulders are still jolting from crying.
"So," he starts. "You found out about Peter, but instead of being angry with him for lying to you, you are frustrated with yourself for not finding out sooner?" She nods into his chest. Loki lets out a laugh he meant to repress. "That is an unconventional way of thinking."
"My mind's been all over the place since you took me."
"Is that an accusation?"
"Yes."
"I apologized."
"And I didn't forgive you." Daphne pushes herself away from his chest to look up at him. He lets go of her and studies her face. She's a mess. Her cheeks are puffed and her eyes are red, yet she still raises an eyebrow, cocks her head and sassily says: "Remember?" Loki smirks.
"I do."

Loki lets go of her and she awkwardly lets go of him, suddenly realizing she just hugged the most hated person on earth. She takes a few steps back and hugs herself instead. The lump in her throat is still there, but Loki's somewhat distracting her, so that's nice.
"You should probably talk with him," he says gently. Daphne looks down.
"I know, I just..." She pauses and frowns. Is he giving her advice? "I'm not sure if I can just yet." When she looks back up at Loki she sees a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.
"Something else happened that you're not telling me." Her face shifts to quiet shock. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, shit, shit, shit. He does not have to know about the kiss.
"No," she blurts out a little too quickly. A wide grin appears on his face and he steps forward.
"Yes," he says with a daring tone.
"I'm not telling you." Daphne holds her breath.
"Ah, please, indulge me."

She pushes past Loki towards the living room. He follows her swiftly.
"No," she pushes out.
"Alright, alright." Daphne stops in her tracks. Something's off and she can sense it. She turns back to Loki and cocks her head, eyeing him sideways.
"There's something you're not telling me either." Loki freezes for a second, but quickly brushes it off.
"I'm not here to talk about me."
"Okay, but what if I want to know something about you?" She puts her hands on her hips.
"Then you can ask me and I will answer truthfully."
"Alright, tell me what's bothering you." Loki frowns at that question.

He was hoping she'd ask something more trivial, like his favorite meal or something.
"My brother is always bothering me." Daphne's eye twitches when he says that. The weirdest feeling spreads from her gut to the tips of her fingers. Like it was in response to what he says. Her eyes widen slightly.
"You're lying," she says surprised. "That's... that's a lie, I could feel it." She looks at her stomach and places one hand on it. "Right here."
"Yes, of course you can feel that. It's the same thing I feel when you lie."
"Is that cause of-"
"Yes," he says simply. She stares at him with an open mouth.
"That's nuts." Loki shrugs at her weird Midgardian saying.
"Magic always comes with a price. Or a side effect." Daphne blinks a few times.
"So, what's actually bothering you?"
"Something I am not going to tell you."

The less Daphne knows the better. As long as Somm isn't aware of her, she should stay in the dark. Loki was actually here to talk with her about it, but seeing her so shaken up made him decide to hold off for now. She doesn't deserve any more troubling thoughts in her life. It's not fair to her. He doesn't want to add 'fear of being taken away at any given second' to her list of anxieties. Especially since he caused her such trauma when he took her. He needs to give her time. He will tell her some other time.
"Then I will not tell you about-"

They get interrupted by the bell.
"Expecting anyone?" Loki asks cheekily.
"No," Daphne scoffs and she walks to the buzzer. When she turns it on she's surprised to hear Peter.
"Daph?" He's panting, fast and loud. "Is that you?" She doesn't reply right away. Instead, she looks down. She can feel Loki stare right through her.
"It's me," she says softly.
"I- I ran, Daph, I didn't swing here, I ran." She can hear him struggling to get the words out. "I want to talk with you. Please, please, let me in," he begs.

Daphne glances back at Loki, who cocks an eyebrow. When she faces forward again, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She hits the buzzer to open the door, but immediately turns off the intercom.
"You're letting him in with me here?" Loki laughs.
"I'm letting him in and you're leaving," she says bluntly. Loki cocks his head, but holds up his end of the deal. Leave when she wants him to.
"Very well." He turns away from her and looks back with a smirk. "Good luck. See you next month." When she wants to say goodbye, there's a knock on the door and she looks at it. It was only a quick glance, but when she turns to where Loki was, he's gone again. She groans quietly as she makes her way to the door. She takes a second to collect herself.

Breathe, Daph, breathe.

She turns the knob and steps back as she swings the door open. Peter stands awkwardly, still panting. His curls are stuck to his forehead. If he swung here, he wouldn't nearly be as sweaty as he is now. And he also would've been here way quicker than he is now. He's not wearing a coat. Nor did he bring his backpack. He's just there, in his jeans and shirt with a flannel over top. He really did run. For her.
"Hey," she says quietly.
"Hey," he breathes, not saying anything else, but also not moving to come inside the apartment either. Just like Loki, he's waiting for her permission to actually be there. She sniffs and stares at him.

Time to talk.