The Last Time I'll Write About You || Yeonbin

Entry #5

Months had just gone by but it like felt forever.

I've always been like this though, and you know that. When I'm sad it'll feel like the clock is moving agonizingly slow and you not being by my side anymore only made matters worse.

Anyway, I finally went out of my room and strolled around the city. Of course, it wouldn't be possible if not for the constant pestering of my friends. They've been trying to get me out of the comfort of my blanket and out of the black-hole I managed to put myself into. But, I didn't go out with them; I just followed what they told me and went out by myself.

I don't want to see their worried faces and waste their time looking over me. I mean, I could handle myself; I could build myself back altogether again but not right now. Maybe soon, later, or never—I don't know. However, I still appreciate everything they did to try and cheer me up.

Right, back to my unplanned and miserable escapade, while I was wandering around hopelessly, I somehow managed to stumble upon this ice cream parlour we used to go to. Funny, isn't it? How I'm trying to live my life and move on from you but it seems as if the world isn't letting me to. It keeps on giving me reasons and signs for you to enter my mind, like it is entertaining to watch me long for something I couldn't have anymore.

Is that how it's supposed to be, Soobin? Am I supposed to suffer from missing you while you're out there to god-knows-where probably not even thinking about me? I'm not even gonna be surprised if you can't even remember my name.

Still, I entered the shop and the classic hit of nostalgia greeted me. It felt so different from how it was before, considering that it was my first time going there without you. We'd always go there together, remember? Oh—I have a confession to make. I always wanted to try their mint chocolate ice cream but I never had the chance to because I know how much you hate them. And so whenever we went there, we always tried different flavors even though I was dying to order that flavor I like, but because you hate it, I pretended I did too.

See? That's just one of the things I was and still am willing to do for you but that doesn’t even matter anymore. You're gone and there's no amount of ice cream that could bring you back to me.