The Last Time I'll Write About You || Yeonbin

Entry #21

I dreamed about you last night.

I thought it was real.

Too bad I woke up.

I dreamed you suddenly showed up in my apartment with that stupid smile of yours. You were holding a bouquet of pink tulips and you came up to me, I was crying because I was mad you left but then you apologized and said you wouldn't leave for so long because you would always return.

You held my face with your free hand and wiped off my tears, you were still smiling down on me before you leaned in and kissed my cheeks. I had my eyes closed, telling you to never do it again while I reached out my arms to hug you.

I held you tight because I was scared you would disappear again but you were just laughing at me. You were saying something about how silly I am for ever thinking you'd leave me alone.

How ironic.

After quite a while, you pulled away from my embrace. I thought I did something wrong, but then you just started complaining about how I didn't pay attention to those flowers you brought. I giggled at your actions, stood on my tiptoe to plant a quick peck on your lips.

God, I could've sworn I felt that.

Your lips on mine. How you almost immediately grabbed my face to pull me back in and kiss me again. We smiled at the kiss, relishing in the way our lips moulded with each other and I was losing my mind because fuck, I miss that so much.

I miss you so much.

And once we pulled away, our faces remained close and then I heard you whisper.

You told me you love me.

And maybe it was the way of the universe to tell me to stop being so helpless because right after those words left your mouth, my eyes fluttered open.

Before I even get the chance to respond, I fucking woke up.

Maybe, the world is telling me to wake up, quite literally and metaphorically, and face the reality that we're over. That you're not here with me anymore. That you do not love me anymore. That you left me so I need to let go of everything too and let you go.

Is it going to be too pitiful of me to had wish I didn't wake up?

I wanted to know what would happen.

I wanted to live in my dreams, where you're still in love with me.

Soobin, I just want you to love me again.

It's getting too tiring, I'll admit. But then again, I'm way too in love with you to just get over it.