The Last Time I'll Write About You || Yeonbin

Entry #23

I'm so sorry Binnie. Fuck, trust me I didn't mean to do that.

I didn't want to but they were pestering me and it was getting annoying that I mindlessly agreed to get them to shut up. But Soobin, I swear I didn't want to. If it were on me, I wouldn't want to show up but they said that I should give it a shot and if it still didn't work out then they would stop trying to set me up, so I did.

Binnie, I went on a date.

It was with this guy Jaemin knows. His name is Lucas. He's quite tall too and a really fun guy. He's gorgeous I'll admit, but your face still remains to be the one I want to stare at.

He took me to this one place that's kind of like uphill and the path was surrounded with tress and pretty flowers. It was beautiful, looks like a place where the couple in a movie would go to. A perfect scenery straight out of a perfect romance drama.

Lucas is a sweet guy. He offered to teach me how to ride a bike when I told him I didn't know how to. If it were you, you would have pointed out I was lying. I know how to ride a damn bike, I just lied so we wouldn't have to stay there for long but he was insisting and I felt bad so I agreed. He was patient and careful and I don't know if he figured out I was acting clueless but he speaks softly even though his voice is deep. He also has a good smile and he seemed glad when he thought I got what he said because he didn't know I already knew that.

He's nice and he makes me laugh and he always got jokes up his sleeves and I bet no one would be bored if they're with him. No doubt anyone would fall for him on the first date.

And then we ate at this one café you once told me you wanted to check out and that was when my mind drifted off to you again. My mood probably visibly changed because he asked me what was wrong. I shook my head no and told him it was nothing. I think he wasn't entirely convinced since he tried his best to cheer me up afterwards. I also tried to lift my sprit up again because Lucas doesn't deserve to be treated like that but I couldn't.

He could've been perfect, Binnie. The only flaw I could point out was that, he isn't you.

Maybe I'm stupid enough to reject him and say we're better off as friends. And even when I said that, he was smiling brightly to me like he wasn't offended at all when he could definitely sweep anyone he desires off their feet. He also told me not to feel bad because he could tell I'm still not ready to open up my heart to someone new.

How could I? When you're still the one holding its key.

Soobin, it's still you.

And I don't think it'll change anytime soon.