The Last Time I'll Write About You || Yeonbin

Entry #14

You know my friends Jeno and Jaemin, right? And them being my colleagues at work too. Well, those two managed to have a project assigned for the three of us. I don't even have an idea how they did that but I didn't question it anymore since I'm glad to be able to work with them.

The project is a runway fashion show, which makes absolute sense considering it is a fashion enterprise we're working at. Anyway, the tasks given are pretty easy compared to the things I've worked on before so it isn't a bother, nonetheless, the pressure and the fear of making it a failure is still there.

We decided to find models for this first so we went to a few modeling agencies and met loads of wonderful, gorgeous women and men. However, I wasn't able to focus because I kept on staring at them.

Don't get me wrong though, I was not attracted to them, rather, their looks made me feel a little insecure. And that little piece of insecurity that was once a seed, sprouted out and grew even more every time I looked at them. I mean, they all looked so beautiful and hot and sexy and all that shits a person wants to be and it seemed like a garbage bag just entered when I walked into the room.

Jeno and Jaemin fitted well with them too while I am just that little spray paint accident that's trying to ruin a masterpiece like them. And I tell you, I wanted nothing more but to escape and hide at that moment.

If you were with us, you'd probably get mesmerized by them and forget I even exist. They are totally every person's type; gorgeous, kind and talented. While here I am, not being included in any of those categories. But maybe I can be in the kind one, I like to think that I'm nice.

Oh, perhaps one of the reasons why you left me was because I'm not attractive enough. Maybe if I resemble any of them you wouldn't get tired of me. If I could just make your life a fashion show then maybe you'd always find me exciting. But then again, I wasn't and I'm still not. I still look like a piece of shit and you would want to look for someone who's like them-and that someone unfortunately, isn't me.

I wish I could be beautiful too Soobin, maybe in that way you'll want me again.